So, when did I get pretty?

Something happened over the past year, and I don’t know what caused this, but here’s the fact of the matter.

Somehow, in some strange way, I became physically attractive and people started noticing.

Now this isn’t going to be about how I have a “horrible” (aka, fishing for compliments) self image or how because of my acne I never thought anyone would be able to think of my physical appearance as appealing. I might have had moments like these at various times throughout my life, but everyone does.

I think part of what happened was that I distanced myself from a lot of the people who made my insecurities problems and I began to make friends who really build me up and encourage me. In short, I got a confidence boost. Privately, I’ve always thought that I am not bad looking (the threat of vanity and pride prevents me from saying anything further), but throughout the last year I have been blasted with compliments and remarks about how I have become an attractive young woman. Most of these comments come from males, as well as some of my female friends whom I hold in high esteem and trust their opinion. It’s been overwhelming, interesting, and I’d be lying if I didn’t say that it was flattering. 

Yeesh, ya'll are turning me feminine.

To me, being attractive is as much about having a genuine personality that reflects positive traits and intelligence as it is about being physically appealing. Actually, let me retract that statement. Being attractive is much MORE about having a genuine personality that reflects positive traits and intelligence as it is about physical attractiveness. I happen to believe 100% that I have beautiful friends; each of my friends is a beautiful person inside and out. I can see the promise of each human being and there is always a redemptive quality in everyone on earth (except for maybe a few truly evil people, but that’s another topic for another time). This weekend while some of my friends and I were out at dinner I voiced my opinion that I don’t think anyone is truly ugly unless they have a horrible personality.

Part of what we regard as “beautiful” to our eyes is personal preference. For instance, I know several people who adore red hair, and others who go ga-ga over blondes with curls, and some who really like brown eyes, or they find tattoos attractive. The other major part is what society dubs as conventionally beautiful. Unfortunately, society seems to say that you really only need to be beautiful in the shallowest way possible. Be a decoration with a decent GPA and you will go far. Change yourself to match our standards and you’ll be happy.

Let me scoff and giggle and pull out my hair at the absurdity of it all.

If I am beautiful, I want to be beautiful because I have a light in me that shines through my personality and transforms me from the inside out. I’d rather be attractive because I show kindness, than because I have the kind of hair that everyone admires. I’d rather be pretty because my actions reflect grace and thoughtfulness than be pretty because of my makeup.

If I am thought pretty or beautiful or attractive I want it to be because I am smart, and willing to admit my faults as a person, and willing to be better by learning new things and correcting my errors. If I happen to be pleasing to the eye on a physical appearance basis, I hope that no one mistakes that this is the most I have to offer.