Something happened over the past
year, and I don’t know what caused this, but here’s the fact of the matter.
Somehow, in some strange way, I
became physically attractive and people started noticing.
Now this isn’t going to be about
how I have a “horrible” (aka, fishing for compliments) self image or how
because of my acne I never thought anyone would be able to think of my physical
appearance as appealing. I might have had moments like these at various times
throughout my life, but everyone does.
I think part of what happened was
that I distanced myself from a lot of the people who made my insecurities
problems and I began to make friends who really build me up and encourage me.
In short, I got a confidence boost. Privately, I’ve always thought that I am
not bad looking (the threat of vanity and pride prevents me from saying
anything further), but throughout the last year I have been blasted with compliments
and remarks about how I have become an attractive young woman. Most of these
comments come from males, as well as some of my female friends whom I hold in
high esteem and trust their opinion. It’s been overwhelming, interesting, and
I’d be lying if I didn’t say that it was flattering.
Yeesh, ya'll are turning me feminine.
To me, being attractive is as much
about having a genuine personality that reflects positive traits and intelligence
as it is about being physically appealing. Actually, let me retract that
statement. Being attractive is much MORE about having a genuine
personality that reflects positive traits and intelligence as it is about physical
attractiveness. I happen to believe 100% that I have beautiful friends; each of
my friends is a beautiful person inside and out. I can see the promise of each
human being and there is always a redemptive quality in everyone on earth
(except for maybe a few truly evil people, but that’s another topic for another
time). This weekend while some of my friends and I were out at dinner I voiced
my opinion that I don’t think anyone is truly ugly unless they have a horrible personality.
Part of what we regard as
“beautiful” to our eyes is personal preference. For instance, I know several
people who adore red hair, and others who go ga-ga over blondes with curls, and
some who really like brown eyes, or they find tattoos attractive. The other
major part is what society dubs as conventionally beautiful. Unfortunately,
society seems to say that you really only need to be beautiful in the
shallowest way possible. Be a decoration with a decent GPA and you will go far.
Change yourself to match our standards and you’ll be happy.
Let me scoff and giggle and pull
out my hair at the absurdity of it all.
If I am beautiful, I want to be
beautiful because I have a light in me that shines through my personality and
transforms me from the inside out. I’d rather be attractive because I show
kindness, than because I have the kind of hair that everyone admires. I’d
rather be pretty because my actions reflect grace and thoughtfulness than be
pretty because of my makeup.
If I am thought pretty or beautiful
or attractive I want it to be because I am smart, and willing to admit my
faults as a person, and willing to be better by learning new things and
correcting my errors. If I happen to be pleasing to the eye on a physical
appearance basis, I hope that no one mistakes that this is the most I have to
offer.
