To be honest, I'm frustrated with myself. I'm frustrated with my circumstances. I'm frustrated by people who normally don't tick me off.
I am listless, lazy, unproductive, impulsive, and probably a few other choice words that aren't usually in my arsenal of "describe yourself" answers.
Usually I answer those words, "describe yourself," with words like the following: Productive. Responsible. Fairly Organized. Motivated. Healthy. Inquisitive.
Those words up there ^......not me right now.
I've been getting several wake up calls to this, and I've actually seen this process happening over a long period of time. It started a little while back in the most recent school semester. I would have trouble working on assignments until it was two days before they were due. Or the night before. More often than not I forgot to write a journal entry for a class.
I mean, I still pulled As in all my classes, but that didn't really feel good. I felt like I had coasted through the semester.
The same with dance classes. I had to miss a LOT of classes due to school (when I was being responsible about my assignments). Then there have been some weird schedules at work, so dance took a back seat because I need to earn cash. Ergo, I'm out of shape and not happy about it. However, I'm having trouble finding motivation to work out at home.
At work, for the most part, I'm okay. I'm a little weary but I'm okay, I guess. I've made my peace with staying at my job through the summer instead of trying to find something different that will work with my family's vacation and Ren Faire. It's paying off and I'm getting good hours. So long as I keep putting my paychecks in the bank I should see some profit and a money cushion for the fall and college. I'll need to work out a plan for how to (not) spend my money, but that will be a budgeting lesson that I need to learn anyway. Still there are many days were I resign myself to getting into the car and driving to work.
Most of this stems from the fact that I'm stressed. Or at least, I'm going to say that it is. I'm worried. I'm worried about how I'm going to pay for college. I'm worried about a few of my friends. I'm worried about the stupid tick bite that I got up at Faire this past weekend. I'm worried about how I'm not getting any scholarships. I'm worried about how I'm not motivated to do anything. I'm worried about how I'm always craving really really sugary salty bad for you foods.
And this stress is really affecting me. I can't think straight without starting to get on myself about how I have 10 billion things to get done. Instead of doing things, because I'm tired, I take naps and watch Hulu. Not anymore. I'm starting to change things.
Daily Bible Study (which, ironically, seems to be the only thing I manage to be halfway consistent on even in my non motivated state). No more junky food. I've got to exercise once every day at the least. I have to spend an hour on scholarships every day. I want to read/write everyday, even if it's the newspaper I'm reading or only one sentence that I'm writing. I will continue to focus on kindness at work. I will get everything in order so help me or else I'm going to turn into someone that I don't like. I'm trying really hard to be someone that I do like. Liking yourself is sort of important, or it should be.
So what have I found since I've been trying to turn myself around? Well, I've been swimming. That's helped. In the few days that I've cut out fried crap I have felt (and looked) much better. I will continue to be a klutz and injure myself constantly, but the bruises fade. I will grumble about scholarships but get them done.
I've learned that I have to be an optimist or else things get ugly. I don't like asking why things are the way they are, or looking back and seeing what I could have done differently. It gets annoying. Most of the time I try to muddle through as best I can.
One really positive thing is that I am back at Faire. I've been hanging out with people I love and admire and have been getting to know a lot more people this year. I like getting to know different people in the different casts. I like getting to know the newbies. I like being able to help get the site ready for when the gates open. I like being outside for 48 hours straight. Even though it's pretty taxing physically and I come home exhausted, it's restful for me. It feels like home to me.
What I've enjoyed the most is getting to know people. That's really what's been the best part of this summer so far is just being in touch with people and talking to people face to face. I've already had some fun with people who I didn't really know before. I'm hoping that it will continue. If my experiences at Faire so far are an indication of how the rest of my summer will be in general, then things are going to be okay.
Plus, right now, it's not really about where I am. It's about where I am going.
Wednesday, June 12, 2013
Tuesday, April 30, 2013
Looking to the Horizon
Today my brain feels like it will explode. Just one of those days where it is one thing after another, never ending.
So what did I do? I took a walk. That was probably the best thing I could have done today. Simple physical exertion. No ipods, cell phone turned on silent, a bottle of water to keep me hydrated. It was more than just "nice." It was needed.
Things are (in general) looking up. I've managed to navigate some stressful situations that I'm not necessarily through, but God is keeping me going. He's always there for me. I'm forever grateful for that. I know there is a plan He's laid out for me. He's shown up in amazing ways of late.
For instance....
I've been accepted into my dream school, Roosevelt University, into the Chicago College of the Performing Arts for a Musical Theater (Dance Emphasis) major. I've toured the campus, and it's so beautiful. It feels right to be in the city. I know that it's where I want to go. I want to go so badly. In my opinion, it's a bit of a miracle that I even made it into the program.
Now I'm praying and looking for a way to finance my education. All I can say about Roosevelt is that it's $$$. I'll have to take out loans, do work study, save all that I can from my part time job paycheck, and apply for a million scholarships.
I'd be lying if I said that I'm not afraid that I won't find the money to fill the gap between me and school. I will be heartbroken. I don't say or use that word lightly.
I know that if God wants me at Roosevelt, my family and I will find the money. He will provide for me wherever I need to go. He's already provided for so much in this journey. I've been well cared for and am learning to give over control. It's not easy. I have to constantly give up control of something that I have very little control over. It's simply my way to want to try and control things, especially when I want something so much.
Still, I have faith that the money will be there. I will do my part in applying for scholarships and finding ways of saving what I can. Just one year at a time. That's all my family is focusing on right now, because we don't know if I am able to go to school this year, if I'll be able to go next year. It's a sobering thought. It adds a lot of stress to all of us. I don't like the idea of being in debt for 10-15 years after school. I'm crazy because I'm going into a field that simply doesn't pay. Why? Because performing is like breathing to me.
I'll find some way. The biggest hurdle yet was putting down the deposit and saying that I'm going to do my best to go to Roosevelt this fall.
"Live like no one else so you can live like no one else." Right, Dave Ramsey?
I hope that this is just the sun coming up and not the sun setting for me. I have my plan B, going back to Harper and finishing an associates in either Arts or History and then going from there. I've just got to trust God that He's going to come through. Because it's His will over mine. I've learned that in extraordinary ways this year. I've just got to keep learning this lesson. I'm not perfect and it's a process.
Now back to the crazy land of papers and scholarships and community college assignments.
So what did I do? I took a walk. That was probably the best thing I could have done today. Simple physical exertion. No ipods, cell phone turned on silent, a bottle of water to keep me hydrated. It was more than just "nice." It was needed.
Things are (in general) looking up. I've managed to navigate some stressful situations that I'm not necessarily through, but God is keeping me going. He's always there for me. I'm forever grateful for that. I know there is a plan He's laid out for me. He's shown up in amazing ways of late.
For instance....
I've been accepted into my dream school, Roosevelt University, into the Chicago College of the Performing Arts for a Musical Theater (Dance Emphasis) major. I've toured the campus, and it's so beautiful. It feels right to be in the city. I know that it's where I want to go. I want to go so badly. In my opinion, it's a bit of a miracle that I even made it into the program.
Now I'm praying and looking for a way to finance my education. All I can say about Roosevelt is that it's $$$. I'll have to take out loans, do work study, save all that I can from my part time job paycheck, and apply for a million scholarships.
I'd be lying if I said that I'm not afraid that I won't find the money to fill the gap between me and school. I will be heartbroken. I don't say or use that word lightly.
I know that if God wants me at Roosevelt, my family and I will find the money. He will provide for me wherever I need to go. He's already provided for so much in this journey. I've been well cared for and am learning to give over control. It's not easy. I have to constantly give up control of something that I have very little control over. It's simply my way to want to try and control things, especially when I want something so much.
Still, I have faith that the money will be there. I will do my part in applying for scholarships and finding ways of saving what I can. Just one year at a time. That's all my family is focusing on right now, because we don't know if I am able to go to school this year, if I'll be able to go next year. It's a sobering thought. It adds a lot of stress to all of us. I don't like the idea of being in debt for 10-15 years after school. I'm crazy because I'm going into a field that simply doesn't pay. Why? Because performing is like breathing to me.
I'll find some way. The biggest hurdle yet was putting down the deposit and saying that I'm going to do my best to go to Roosevelt this fall.
"Live like no one else so you can live like no one else." Right, Dave Ramsey?
I hope that this is just the sun coming up and not the sun setting for me. I have my plan B, going back to Harper and finishing an associates in either Arts or History and then going from there. I've just got to trust God that He's going to come through. Because it's His will over mine. I've learned that in extraordinary ways this year. I've just got to keep learning this lesson. I'm not perfect and it's a process.
Now back to the crazy land of papers and scholarships and community college assignments.
Tuesday, March 26, 2013
On My Own, but not quite anymore.
Second time I've used a song title as a post title...might need to nip that in the bud soon. But for now we shall carry on!
Ready to hear a not-so-secret secret? You sure? All right, well, I'll tell you.
I house sat for a month in February!
Seriously, that's the secret. I actually didn't advertise this particular experience for several reasons.
1) It was safer to not advertise that I was a young woman living by myself in a friend's house for a month.
2) It was kind of nice to have a place where I could just hide away and I wanted to see if I could live on my own without making a big fuss about the whole thing.
3) I did not plan on having any parties or mass amounts of friends over. Actually, BestieBomba came over twice, and some friends picked me up for a handful of events, but other than that no one came over.
4) I just didn't want a bunch of people asking about how I was doing.
At first I was a little bit concerned about how I was going to do being away from my family and not sleeping at home for a whole month. I knew I'd be fine taking care of the cute little dog I was taking care of (he was a small little white sweetheart).
It did take me a few days to figure out a few things, like the dog would let me sleep more than 4 hours if I gave him the blue blanket. That was marvelous to get more than 4 hours of sleep after a week.
The thing was, as the month went on. I found myself adjusting to being by myself very well. I mean, it's not like I was actually living on my own. I didn't have to pay bills at all, I bought my own food but that was about it for the expenses I had to take care of. I missed my folks, but at the same time, I think I've proved to myself that I've reached a point where I could actually live on my own if I had the means or need.
Sometimes the house did feel a little bit large for just me. A few times I did get a bit lonely, but I had friends that I could call or chat online with that made things a lot easier. Plus, I had Parade rehearsals, work, school, and not one but TWO college auditions that I went on during my time at the house.
I did go home to visit from time to time, and my puppy was adamant about sniffing me and snuffling in protest that I was around another dog so much. He also gave me the dreaded puppy eyes every time I left to go back to the other dog.
Needless to say, my puppy has been very happy to have me home.
So overall, what did I learn about myself and how did I grow in a month? Well, let's go over a short list.
1) I can live on my own and I feel okay about moving into a dorm for college (two TOTALLY different things linked by the idea of living outside of my house).
2) My introverted self likes having a space to myself (but I knew that ((mostly)) already).
3) I dyed my hair all by myself! Usually I have my mom help because she's really good at the whole "home dye" process, but I proved to myself that I can dye my hair and not make a huge mess out of everything.
4) I can cook! I can't really bake that well (yet) so I decided that I would try cooking, and I'm actually a decent cook, thank goodness.
5) After auditioning for Bristol, no audition has come to even been half as scary. Even auditioning for Roosevelt wasn't half as scary. :-P
6) When I had more room to put my stuff, I was a much better housekeeper. I also do not need as much stuff as I have and am working on downsizing my possessions to the things that really matter to me (like books, never giving up my library).
7) I grew a lot in my spiritual life. I can't really put it any more simply or elaborate any more (because even a step of growth in spiritual life could take a book to explain).
8) Made new friends, and grew in my current friendships.
9) Missed a lot of people a lot. I am really looking forward to the coming Bristol season and seeing everyone SOONER THAN JUNE...Now that Parade is over and I am not house sitting any more I'm going to try and remedy some of that problem of not seeing people in general.
That month was like a whole season in my life. That nine item list doesn't cover half of the stuff that I figured out for myself or just grew into over a month. I am very grateful that I was able to have that experience of living on my own (tehee, Les Mis!). I think that it was during the time I was house sitting that I have somewhat owned up to the fact that I am a young woman, not a girl anymore. I'm still less than 6 months into being twenty and I often play younger characters, but by living on my own I've noticed the differences in my character and how I handle things. Even last year I wouldn't have been able to say that I am a young woman. Yeah, I am still *little* compared to a lot of my friends. I'm not going to negate that fact. I'm also not saying that I've got everything figured out and I'm going to be totally prepared for when I actually live on my own, because I know that would not be true. Last month was simply a time where I was able to prove to myself that I can do that one day and I will be fine.
So now, I'm back on my blog (sorry about the hiatus for anyone who really cares, it was needed). I'm thinking about what I want to do next for some of my posts and I'm sure there shall be another post soon about any changes or expansions for what I write about.
~Astonishing
Ready to hear a not-so-secret secret? You sure? All right, well, I'll tell you.
I house sat for a month in February!
Seriously, that's the secret. I actually didn't advertise this particular experience for several reasons.
1) It was safer to not advertise that I was a young woman living by myself in a friend's house for a month.
2) It was kind of nice to have a place where I could just hide away and I wanted to see if I could live on my own without making a big fuss about the whole thing.
3) I did not plan on having any parties or mass amounts of friends over. Actually, BestieBomba came over twice, and some friends picked me up for a handful of events, but other than that no one came over.
4) I just didn't want a bunch of people asking about how I was doing.
At first I was a little bit concerned about how I was going to do being away from my family and not sleeping at home for a whole month. I knew I'd be fine taking care of the cute little dog I was taking care of (he was a small little white sweetheart).
It did take me a few days to figure out a few things, like the dog would let me sleep more than 4 hours if I gave him the blue blanket. That was marvelous to get more than 4 hours of sleep after a week.
The thing was, as the month went on. I found myself adjusting to being by myself very well. I mean, it's not like I was actually living on my own. I didn't have to pay bills at all, I bought my own food but that was about it for the expenses I had to take care of. I missed my folks, but at the same time, I think I've proved to myself that I've reached a point where I could actually live on my own if I had the means or need.
Sometimes the house did feel a little bit large for just me. A few times I did get a bit lonely, but I had friends that I could call or chat online with that made things a lot easier. Plus, I had Parade rehearsals, work, school, and not one but TWO college auditions that I went on during my time at the house.
I did go home to visit from time to time, and my puppy was adamant about sniffing me and snuffling in protest that I was around another dog so much. He also gave me the dreaded puppy eyes every time I left to go back to the other dog.
Needless to say, my puppy has been very happy to have me home.
So overall, what did I learn about myself and how did I grow in a month? Well, let's go over a short list.
1) I can live on my own and I feel okay about moving into a dorm for college (two TOTALLY different things linked by the idea of living outside of my house).
2) My introverted self likes having a space to myself (but I knew that ((mostly)) already).
3) I dyed my hair all by myself! Usually I have my mom help because she's really good at the whole "home dye" process, but I proved to myself that I can dye my hair and not make a huge mess out of everything.
4) I can cook! I can't really bake that well (yet) so I decided that I would try cooking, and I'm actually a decent cook, thank goodness.
5) After auditioning for Bristol, no audition has come to even been half as scary. Even auditioning for Roosevelt wasn't half as scary. :-P
6) When I had more room to put my stuff, I was a much better housekeeper. I also do not need as much stuff as I have and am working on downsizing my possessions to the things that really matter to me (like books, never giving up my library).
7) I grew a lot in my spiritual life. I can't really put it any more simply or elaborate any more (because even a step of growth in spiritual life could take a book to explain).
8) Made new friends, and grew in my current friendships.
9) Missed a lot of people a lot. I am really looking forward to the coming Bristol season and seeing everyone SOONER THAN JUNE...Now that Parade is over and I am not house sitting any more I'm going to try and remedy some of that problem of not seeing people in general.
That month was like a whole season in my life. That nine item list doesn't cover half of the stuff that I figured out for myself or just grew into over a month. I am very grateful that I was able to have that experience of living on my own (tehee, Les Mis!). I think that it was during the time I was house sitting that I have somewhat owned up to the fact that I am a young woman, not a girl anymore. I'm still less than 6 months into being twenty and I often play younger characters, but by living on my own I've noticed the differences in my character and how I handle things. Even last year I wouldn't have been able to say that I am a young woman. Yeah, I am still *little* compared to a lot of my friends. I'm not going to negate that fact. I'm also not saying that I've got everything figured out and I'm going to be totally prepared for when I actually live on my own, because I know that would not be true. Last month was simply a time where I was able to prove to myself that I can do that one day and I will be fine.
So now, I'm back on my blog (sorry about the hiatus for anyone who really cares, it was needed). I'm thinking about what I want to do next for some of my posts and I'm sure there shall be another post soon about any changes or expansions for what I write about.
~Astonishing
Monday, March 25, 2013
Old Red Hills of Home
For a while I'd write half of a post, then circumstances would pop up and say "haha- you're not going to finish this right now" and then I'd save a half finished post, and forget about my blog for another week and a half.
However, this time I know that I want to finish this post before I do anything else.
When I auditioned for Parade, I had little idea of what the show was about. I listened to the soundtrack once or twice before auditions, but with the stress of auditioning, I listened only for the parts that I could possibly be called back for.
I didn't get a call back, and I got ensemble, and that was okay. Right from the start I was okay with being ensemble. After all, this was my first stage show outside of the theater group I performed in while growing up. I was just happy that I made the cut into a cast of 36 people.
I only knew a handful of people in the cast, and the first few rehearsals felt awkward because many of the cast member knew each other already and I was sure I was intruding on already developed social circles and inside jokes. As time went on though, I found myself developing inside jokes and being included. Everyone in the cast is so kind and wonderful. I've been blessed to spend time among such talented people.
I think a show like Parade, which deals with heavy material and a lot hatred on the part of the characters, needs a cast who really care about each other offstage as much as on. I had a very hard time coming to terms with the character I was playing. I was playing an anti-Semitic southern teenager who wanted an innocent man to die. Except, as time went on through the show, I realized that although that was one look at the character I was playing, Bettie-Jean had more to her than that.
Bettie-Jean is a sixteen year old girl from Gerogia, proud of her state and her heritage. She loves her family and loves her friends as if they were her family. She likes teasing and flirting with the boy she has a crush on who works at the police station. When her best friend, Mary, dies, the only information Bettie Jean has to make sense of the situation are the newspapers that paint a picture of a northern Jewish man who came into Atlanta with the intent of killing Mary. So, in Bettie-Jean's mind, it's almost like another Civil War. The north is trying to take over and abuse the south again, and this time, she swears that they won't get away with it. In the end, Bettie-Jean just wants the nightmare of all of the events surrounding Mary's death to be over so that her family and friends can have some peace. The only way for it to be over is for Leo Frank to hang.
I think it's safe to say that I learned a lot about motive and objectives and perspectives this show. It took me more than half the show to figure Bettie Jean out and understand where she was coming from. There's a lot of pain for each character in this show. There are a lot of flaws in each character. That's part of what makes the show so amazing. Even with all of the struggles I had in the beginning with the show, I wouldn't trade this experience for the world. I've had the best re-introduction to stage performance and I don't think I could have chosen a better show or cast. I've made some amazing, hysterical, mind-blowingly talented friends who I hope to stay in touch with.
So this is my "thank you" note to the whole cast. Thank you all for making me apart of the Parade cast and family. Thank you all for this experience. I love you all and will miss seeing your faces every week. Thank you- Kevin, for casting me in this show. It's been an honor to work under your direction.
I will miss all of you. I will miss the pre-show hilarity in the make-up room while curling my hair (and other people's hair). I will miss the heart to heart conversations I've had with a few of you, and the general conversations I always seemed to stumble in on (at the WRONG times). I will miss the laughter and the quips and the blunders backstage. I will miss the warm ups and looking like an Easter egg. I will miss my wig for the Governor's Ball. I'll just simply miss everything.
I know I'll be singing "Old Red Hills of Home" for weeks to come. I'll probably have a few tears this week too when it hits me that I won't be coming back to perform this show again. However, I think it's time to find the next adventure. We closed on a fantastic note, and it's better to leave this particular production that way.
Trying to figure out a way to end this post isn't working, so I'm just going to have to stop writing before I start crying.
However, this time I know that I want to finish this post before I do anything else.
When I auditioned for Parade, I had little idea of what the show was about. I listened to the soundtrack once or twice before auditions, but with the stress of auditioning, I listened only for the parts that I could possibly be called back for.
I didn't get a call back, and I got ensemble, and that was okay. Right from the start I was okay with being ensemble. After all, this was my first stage show outside of the theater group I performed in while growing up. I was just happy that I made the cut into a cast of 36 people.
I only knew a handful of people in the cast, and the first few rehearsals felt awkward because many of the cast member knew each other already and I was sure I was intruding on already developed social circles and inside jokes. As time went on though, I found myself developing inside jokes and being included. Everyone in the cast is so kind and wonderful. I've been blessed to spend time among such talented people.
I think a show like Parade, which deals with heavy material and a lot hatred on the part of the characters, needs a cast who really care about each other offstage as much as on. I had a very hard time coming to terms with the character I was playing. I was playing an anti-Semitic southern teenager who wanted an innocent man to die. Except, as time went on through the show, I realized that although that was one look at the character I was playing, Bettie-Jean had more to her than that.
Bettie-Jean is a sixteen year old girl from Gerogia, proud of her state and her heritage. She loves her family and loves her friends as if they were her family. She likes teasing and flirting with the boy she has a crush on who works at the police station. When her best friend, Mary, dies, the only information Bettie Jean has to make sense of the situation are the newspapers that paint a picture of a northern Jewish man who came into Atlanta with the intent of killing Mary. So, in Bettie-Jean's mind, it's almost like another Civil War. The north is trying to take over and abuse the south again, and this time, she swears that they won't get away with it. In the end, Bettie-Jean just wants the nightmare of all of the events surrounding Mary's death to be over so that her family and friends can have some peace. The only way for it to be over is for Leo Frank to hang.
I think it's safe to say that I learned a lot about motive and objectives and perspectives this show. It took me more than half the show to figure Bettie Jean out and understand where she was coming from. There's a lot of pain for each character in this show. There are a lot of flaws in each character. That's part of what makes the show so amazing. Even with all of the struggles I had in the beginning with the show, I wouldn't trade this experience for the world. I've had the best re-introduction to stage performance and I don't think I could have chosen a better show or cast. I've made some amazing, hysterical, mind-blowingly talented friends who I hope to stay in touch with.
So this is my "thank you" note to the whole cast. Thank you all for making me apart of the Parade cast and family. Thank you all for this experience. I love you all and will miss seeing your faces every week. Thank you- Kevin, for casting me in this show. It's been an honor to work under your direction.
I will miss all of you. I will miss the pre-show hilarity in the make-up room while curling my hair (and other people's hair). I will miss the heart to heart conversations I've had with a few of you, and the general conversations I always seemed to stumble in on (at the WRONG times). I will miss the laughter and the quips and the blunders backstage. I will miss the warm ups and looking like an Easter egg. I will miss my wig for the Governor's Ball. I'll just simply miss everything.
I know I'll be singing "Old Red Hills of Home" for weeks to come. I'll probably have a few tears this week too when it hits me that I won't be coming back to perform this show again. However, I think it's time to find the next adventure. We closed on a fantastic note, and it's better to leave this particular production that way.
Trying to figure out a way to end this post isn't working, so I'm just going to have to stop writing before I start crying.
Tuesday, February 5, 2013
Hungry Hungry Hippos.
Every time I try and think of something to post, and sit down to write, something gets in my way! Or the topic is something I don't/can't write about in the internet, because the internet is FOREVER!!! Plus, I don't need to post every single little thing about my life online. I've been *trying* (with varying degrees of success) to cut back on what I post on Facebook. No one needs to see the amazing dinner I just made that is growing cold as I take a photograph of it and spend the next 5 minutes trying to upload to my profile.
However, a written post about my discoveries as I forge ahead into the world of making my own food is another matter entirely! Cooking is a life skill after all and I'd like to become a good cook.
So last night Best-Friend-Bombalurina came over and we cooked *sort of* Asian food. Or more like we made rice and vegetables and a sauce from the Mongolian Beef recipe off of the PF Chang's website (it's really yummy!). I also discovered that I bought way too much ginger (if it is possible to have too much ginger), so there shall be lots of ginger tea later. I also have an abundance of Green Onions, Garlic, and Eggs. No, eggs were NOT in the recipe, but I think combining the eggs with the garlic and onions could make a very good breakfast. Also could make for very smelly breath...let's check how much toothpaste I've got in stock right now.
Fact- I prefer savory flavors over sweet. Ice cream is nice, but I'll take a pickle over ice cream any day. I even ate pickles and ice cream together when I was really little. Yes, I know that's pregnant food. Didn't say that I still ate pickles and ice cream together...well...now that I think about it, might have to take a trip down memory lane...or not. Where's a York patty?
So things that I now can say I can cook-
Frozen Chicken in a toaster oven. We're going to branch out into fancy chicken soon.
Rice
Spaghetti
Eggs (a few different ways)
Mongolian Beef sauce
Normal non-fancy vegetables. In other words, I can boil/bake/steam most things.
Quesodillas, cooked properly, in a pan with a little bit of butter and taco seasoning for some kick.
Various toasted sandwiches, if that counts.
I know the list is actually longer than this, but considering that most cooking I've done has been with pre-prepared food that comes from the frozen isle of a store, I'm very glad that I can actually cook something from scratch. I wish I knew how to cook more things.
Therefore- over the next month I'm going to try and learn a few (relatively simple) recipes, and make up a lot of my own based on "What do I have in the fridge that I think will taste delicious when put together?"
Why you ask? Because it has occurred to me that I'm going to probably live on my own at some point in my life and I want to be able to cook yummy things and not just pop Trader Joe's orange chicken (although I do LOVE their orange chicken) into the oven every night and call it homemade cooking. Besides, cooking is fun. Maybe I'll try making my mom's honey-mustard curry chicken.
I'm now going to go onto pinterest and make a ridiculous amount of pins to my pretty much non-existent cooking board.
Whoever came up with pinterest is evil and wants to take over the world by making people procrastinate while looking at pretty shiny objects. It's about as time consuming as browsing Etsy or (in my case) a half price bookstore.
Bookstore you say? Cookbook you say? hmmmm.....
Until next time!
However, a written post about my discoveries as I forge ahead into the world of making my own food is another matter entirely! Cooking is a life skill after all and I'd like to become a good cook.
So last night Best-Friend-Bombalurina came over and we cooked *sort of* Asian food. Or more like we made rice and vegetables and a sauce from the Mongolian Beef recipe off of the PF Chang's website (it's really yummy!). I also discovered that I bought way too much ginger (if it is possible to have too much ginger), so there shall be lots of ginger tea later. I also have an abundance of Green Onions, Garlic, and Eggs. No, eggs were NOT in the recipe, but I think combining the eggs with the garlic and onions could make a very good breakfast. Also could make for very smelly breath...let's check how much toothpaste I've got in stock right now.
Fact- I prefer savory flavors over sweet. Ice cream is nice, but I'll take a pickle over ice cream any day. I even ate pickles and ice cream together when I was really little. Yes, I know that's pregnant food. Didn't say that I still ate pickles and ice cream together...well...now that I think about it, might have to take a trip down memory lane...or not. Where's a York patty?
So things that I now can say I can cook-
Frozen Chicken in a toaster oven. We're going to branch out into fancy chicken soon.
Rice
Spaghetti
Eggs (a few different ways)
Mongolian Beef sauce
Normal non-fancy vegetables. In other words, I can boil/bake/steam most things.
Quesodillas, cooked properly, in a pan with a little bit of butter and taco seasoning for some kick.
Various toasted sandwiches, if that counts.
I know the list is actually longer than this, but considering that most cooking I've done has been with pre-prepared food that comes from the frozen isle of a store, I'm very glad that I can actually cook something from scratch. I wish I knew how to cook more things.
Therefore- over the next month I'm going to try and learn a few (relatively simple) recipes, and make up a lot of my own based on "What do I have in the fridge that I think will taste delicious when put together?"
Why you ask? Because it has occurred to me that I'm going to probably live on my own at some point in my life and I want to be able to cook yummy things and not just pop Trader Joe's orange chicken (although I do LOVE their orange chicken) into the oven every night and call it homemade cooking. Besides, cooking is fun. Maybe I'll try making my mom's honey-mustard curry chicken.
I'm now going to go onto pinterest and make a ridiculous amount of pins to my pretty much non-existent cooking board.
Whoever came up with pinterest is evil and wants to take over the world by making people procrastinate while looking at pretty shiny objects. It's about as time consuming as browsing Etsy or (in my case) a half price bookstore.
Bookstore you say? Cookbook you say? hmmmm.....
Until next time!
Monday, January 14, 2013
Pushing through
Yesterday was an "adventure" to say the least. One of such epic proportions that I'm choosing to write it out.
I started out the day with an ipod playlist of music, a set of directions from Google Maps, and a desire to see some people whom I miss very much (and still actually do). Most importantly, though not really, I had a cup of coffee for my breakfast.
Everything went fine, I was even on time, until I was supposed to find some road by the name of "Oakwood." The reason that I am naming the road is because It. Does. Not. Exist. Nope, doesn't exist at all. Maybe the road was once called Oakwood, but it's definitely not anymore.
Ever drive around for 40 minutes within 2 minutes of your destination? Yeap. That happened to me. First time that I've ever been so frustrated that I almost started crying. Getting false directions from a gas station, calling three phone numbers, and being stopped by a freight.
Lessons learned, get the number of your host and double check your directions with them. Also thinking about getting a GPS. Also- Google is a Dirty Rotten Liar.
I was able to sit among my friend's company for an hour. Reason for the gathering was a production meeting. One of my friends was working on my back and kept telling me to relax. Sad to say, I didn't actually start relaxing until it was time to go.
All of the frustration and loneliness that I had felt on my way to the meeting came rushing back, plus the fact that I had not eaten a single thing (coffee being forgotten in the midst of the getting lost). Many thanks to the dear Tea Lady who supplied me with a generous piece of lavender shortbread for my "provisions." Also thanks to Captain A, who looked up my route to my Parade rehearsal for me.
So what do I do in my current state of emotions? I miss my turn and spend the firstten twenty minutes of my drive turning myself around. Thank goodness the directions I got at the grocery store were right.
From there I had to call a cast mate to make sure that my director knew that I was on my way, and traffic (as I labeled it) was being horrible. I also got lost AGAIN! This time it was by turning off the wrong road. Luckily within 30 seconds I'd realized my error and got myself back on track within another 5 minutes.
All of this caused me to be 30 minutes late to a rehearsal. There is nothing I despise more than being late for a rehearsal. I feel like it is irresponsible and it has always ticked me off when people came into rehearsal late. I got to be one of those people, but I found a great amount of grace from my cast mates, and most importantly my director.
I finally got to eat at 5pm when I went into work for my 6pm shift. There was enough to do for closing that I was able to focus on that work instead of being overwhelmed by my day. Also, I was able to talk to a friend who cheered me up. Sometimes lighthearted teasing about things that have no consequence are the best medicine. It reminds me that I can smile, because I think I etched a few frown lines yesterday.
The sting still is there. I was talking to a coworker on my break last night and explaining how I feel that we shouldn't stifle our emotions, but we shouldn't wallow in them either. Emotions have a time and a place and after their time and place is gone we can move on. I by no means have perfected this art. I am far from doing that. Right now I think it's more important to not give my anger and frustration too much hold. This is a work in progress. I'm not pleasant to talk to or be around when I'm this way. Many thanks to Professor Propitious for putting up with my gruff attitude over text until I began to simmer down.
So overall, what did I learn yesterday? I have awesome friends. Strangers directions can be either good or bad. I have an awesome director. Work gives you a purpose and taking our your anger with cleaning is better than taking your anger out of people. Humor in life is a must have thing. Patience is a virtue that I don't seem to possess much of, or it just happened to be pushed to the limit yesterday.
Today we are going to take things one step at a time and not worry too much. At least, that's what I'm aiming for. We'll see how it goes.
I started out the day with an ipod playlist of music, a set of directions from Google Maps, and a desire to see some people whom I miss very much (and still actually do). Most importantly, though not really, I had a cup of coffee for my breakfast.
Everything went fine, I was even on time, until I was supposed to find some road by the name of "Oakwood." The reason that I am naming the road is because It. Does. Not. Exist. Nope, doesn't exist at all. Maybe the road was once called Oakwood, but it's definitely not anymore.
Ever drive around for 40 minutes within 2 minutes of your destination? Yeap. That happened to me. First time that I've ever been so frustrated that I almost started crying. Getting false directions from a gas station, calling three phone numbers, and being stopped by a freight.
Lessons learned, get the number of your host and double check your directions with them. Also thinking about getting a GPS. Also- Google is a Dirty Rotten Liar.
I was able to sit among my friend's company for an hour. Reason for the gathering was a production meeting. One of my friends was working on my back and kept telling me to relax. Sad to say, I didn't actually start relaxing until it was time to go.
All of the frustration and loneliness that I had felt on my way to the meeting came rushing back, plus the fact that I had not eaten a single thing (coffee being forgotten in the midst of the getting lost). Many thanks to the dear Tea Lady who supplied me with a generous piece of lavender shortbread for my "provisions." Also thanks to Captain A, who looked up my route to my Parade rehearsal for me.
So what do I do in my current state of emotions? I miss my turn and spend the first
From there I had to call a cast mate to make sure that my director knew that I was on my way, and traffic (as I labeled it) was being horrible. I also got lost AGAIN! This time it was by turning off the wrong road. Luckily within 30 seconds I'd realized my error and got myself back on track within another 5 minutes.
All of this caused me to be 30 minutes late to a rehearsal. There is nothing I despise more than being late for a rehearsal. I feel like it is irresponsible and it has always ticked me off when people came into rehearsal late. I got to be one of those people, but I found a great amount of grace from my cast mates, and most importantly my director.
I finally got to eat at 5pm when I went into work for my 6pm shift. There was enough to do for closing that I was able to focus on that work instead of being overwhelmed by my day. Also, I was able to talk to a friend who cheered me up. Sometimes lighthearted teasing about things that have no consequence are the best medicine. It reminds me that I can smile, because I think I etched a few frown lines yesterday.
The sting still is there. I was talking to a coworker on my break last night and explaining how I feel that we shouldn't stifle our emotions, but we shouldn't wallow in them either. Emotions have a time and a place and after their time and place is gone we can move on. I by no means have perfected this art. I am far from doing that. Right now I think it's more important to not give my anger and frustration too much hold. This is a work in progress. I'm not pleasant to talk to or be around when I'm this way. Many thanks to Professor Propitious for putting up with my gruff attitude over text until I began to simmer down.
So overall, what did I learn yesterday? I have awesome friends. Strangers directions can be either good or bad. I have an awesome director. Work gives you a purpose and taking our your anger with cleaning is better than taking your anger out of people. Humor in life is a must have thing. Patience is a virtue that I don't seem to possess much of, or it just happened to be pushed to the limit yesterday.
Today we are going to take things one step at a time and not worry too much. At least, that's what I'm aiming for. We'll see how it goes.
Tuesday, January 8, 2013
Before I Go Crazy
This is my last week before the new school term starts. Yet, many of my "Normal" activities start this week. Where did break go, and did I really get one?
Work has picked up lately because we've lost two workers, much to my dismay, and therefore I've been getting more hours. More hours means more pay, and at the moment my life isn't so crazy that having more work hours is going to impact my life too much. We will see how that works out in the weeks to come, or at least until my manager hires some more employees. I pulled my first 8 hour shift this week (which is unusual, I average 5-6 hours a shift with the occasional 4 or 7 hours), and it went by fairly well. Then came a 6 hour shift that seemed to take 12 hours. It really just depends on the business level. You can only do so much in a coffee joint when you've cleaned the whole area and are waiting for someone to come and buy gelato or espresso.
On a brighter note- dance starts up again this week! I'm a bit scared that my Ballet class will kick my butt tonight. However, I need to go if I want to be in shape for any college auditions, or any auditions in general. I had a moment of panic a few weeks ago when I realized that most of my Parade rehearsals (that starts Thursday!!!) are on Tuesday/Thursdays so I wouldn't be able to attend half of my dance classes. Then I remembered that the studio that I go to in the 'burbs has a drop in rate that will be less expensive than paying for two classes and missing almost half of them. Huzzah for saving $100 bucks! We'll put that in the tea/coffee fund because I have a feeling that I'll be drinking a lot of that stuff in the weeks to come.
Related to dance things: I really want to get fit this semester. WAIT- before you say "You're already fit you little silly." Keep in mind I haven't been dancing for about a month and have never been to a workout gym. What I mean is, I'd like to be in End of Season Bristol Shape as my normal, maybe even more so than that. I felt great this summer and I'd like to feel good all winter too. So to the gym, the indoor pool, and dance classes it is!
Now onto my writing endeavors.
Writing is going so many directions. I've got Anya clammering about a dress I just designed for next Teslacon (and have NO IDEA how I'm going to make it...or rather I have several ideas and need to write them out). I just finished an exercise in self-made deadlines by writing A Very Bristol Christmas (12 Days of AnneDrew). I was two days behind because life got in my way a couple times and I couldn't write cause I got sick and then had to cover some shifts at work. I still am very proud of myself for sticking to my project and getting it done.
My novel on the other hand...is giving me fits. The characters won't say what I need them to say and they aren't behaving and I don't know what a room looks like and I think I need to go over to UnassumingAzure's house and have a writing day so that she can help me. After all, we started the story together and she's always there to set me back on track when I get flummoxed!
All of that aside, I've got a few projects for writing that I want to accomplish on this blog. Aside from my "I haven't fallen off the face of the earth and discarded this blog" posts (like this one), I'd like to write more pointed posts about aspects of life. Case and point- a post on motivation to go to dance class with is something that I struggle with funnily enough. Will probably tackle that sometime soon. I'm going to try and make this blog more into a "personal essay" blog. I guess my "don't waste as time on the internet" resolution is now going to be "If you are on the internet for long amounts of time- Make It Worth It for Pete's Sake." Whoever Pete is...
So here I am, trying to wrap up this post so that I can stop the ranty laundry list postings and start essay posting on things that actually matter, like life lessons and books. Books are good. I like books.
Until Next Time-
Astonishing.
Work has picked up lately because we've lost two workers, much to my dismay, and therefore I've been getting more hours. More hours means more pay, and at the moment my life isn't so crazy that having more work hours is going to impact my life too much. We will see how that works out in the weeks to come, or at least until my manager hires some more employees. I pulled my first 8 hour shift this week (which is unusual, I average 5-6 hours a shift with the occasional 4 or 7 hours), and it went by fairly well. Then came a 6 hour shift that seemed to take 12 hours. It really just depends on the business level. You can only do so much in a coffee joint when you've cleaned the whole area and are waiting for someone to come and buy gelato or espresso.
On a brighter note- dance starts up again this week! I'm a bit scared that my Ballet class will kick my butt tonight. However, I need to go if I want to be in shape for any college auditions, or any auditions in general. I had a moment of panic a few weeks ago when I realized that most of my Parade rehearsals (that starts Thursday!!!) are on Tuesday/Thursdays so I wouldn't be able to attend half of my dance classes. Then I remembered that the studio that I go to in the 'burbs has a drop in rate that will be less expensive than paying for two classes and missing almost half of them. Huzzah for saving $100 bucks! We'll put that in the tea/coffee fund because I have a feeling that I'll be drinking a lot of that stuff in the weeks to come.
Related to dance things: I really want to get fit this semester. WAIT- before you say "You're already fit you little silly." Keep in mind I haven't been dancing for about a month and have never been to a workout gym. What I mean is, I'd like to be in End of Season Bristol Shape as my normal, maybe even more so than that. I felt great this summer and I'd like to feel good all winter too. So to the gym, the indoor pool, and dance classes it is!
Now onto my writing endeavors.
Writing is going so many directions. I've got Anya clammering about a dress I just designed for next Teslacon (and have NO IDEA how I'm going to make it...or rather I have several ideas and need to write them out). I just finished an exercise in self-made deadlines by writing A Very Bristol Christmas (12 Days of AnneDrew). I was two days behind because life got in my way a couple times and I couldn't write cause I got sick and then had to cover some shifts at work. I still am very proud of myself for sticking to my project and getting it done.
My novel on the other hand...is giving me fits. The characters won't say what I need them to say and they aren't behaving and I don't know what a room looks like and I think I need to go over to UnassumingAzure's house and have a writing day so that she can help me. After all, we started the story together and she's always there to set me back on track when I get flummoxed!
All of that aside, I've got a few projects for writing that I want to accomplish on this blog. Aside from my "I haven't fallen off the face of the earth and discarded this blog" posts (like this one), I'd like to write more pointed posts about aspects of life. Case and point- a post on motivation to go to dance class with is something that I struggle with funnily enough. Will probably tackle that sometime soon. I'm going to try and make this blog more into a "personal essay" blog. I guess my "don't waste as time on the internet" resolution is now going to be "If you are on the internet for long amounts of time- Make It Worth It for Pete's Sake." Whoever Pete is...
So here I am, trying to wrap up this post so that I can stop the ranty laundry list postings and start essay posting on things that actually matter, like life lessons and books. Books are good. I like books.
Until Next Time-
Astonishing.
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