It's not where I am, it's where I'm going.

To be honest, I'm frustrated with myself. I'm frustrated with my circumstances. I'm frustrated by people who normally don't tick me off.

I am listless, lazy, unproductive, impulsive, and probably a few other choice words that aren't usually in my arsenal of "describe yourself" answers.

Usually I answer those words, "describe yourself," with words like the following: Productive. Responsible. Fairly Organized. Motivated. Healthy. Inquisitive.

Those words up there ^......not me right now.

I've been getting several wake up calls to this, and I've actually seen this process happening over a long period of time. It started a little while back in the most recent school semester. I would have trouble working on assignments until it was two days before they were due. Or the night before. More often than not I forgot to write a journal entry for a class.
I mean, I still pulled As in all my classes, but that didn't really feel good. I felt like I had coasted through the semester.

The same with dance classes. I had to miss a LOT of classes due to school (when I was being responsible about my assignments). Then there have been some weird schedules at work, so dance took a back seat because I need to earn cash. Ergo, I'm out of shape and not happy about it. However, I'm having trouble finding motivation to work out at home.

At work, for the most part, I'm okay. I'm a little weary but I'm okay, I guess. I've made my peace with staying at my job through the summer instead of trying to find something different that will work with my family's vacation and Ren Faire. It's paying off and I'm getting good hours. So long as I keep putting my paychecks in the bank I should see some profit and a money cushion for the fall and college. I'll need to work out a plan for how to (not) spend my money, but that will be a budgeting lesson that I need to learn anyway. Still there are many days were I resign myself to getting into the car and driving to work.

Most of this stems from the fact that I'm stressed. Or at least, I'm going to say that it is. I'm worried. I'm worried about how I'm going to pay for college. I'm worried about a few of my friends. I'm worried about the stupid tick bite that I got up at Faire this past weekend. I'm worried about how I'm not getting any scholarships. I'm worried about how I'm not motivated to do anything. I'm worried about how I'm always craving really really sugary salty bad for you foods.

And this stress is really affecting me. I can't think straight without starting to get on myself about how I have 10 billion things to get done. Instead of doing things, because I'm tired, I take naps and watch Hulu. Not anymore. I'm starting to change things.

Daily Bible Study (which, ironically, seems to be the only thing I manage to be halfway consistent on even in my non motivated state). No more junky food. I've got to exercise once every day at the least. I have to spend an hour on scholarships every day. I want to read/write everyday, even if it's the newspaper I'm reading or only one sentence that I'm writing. I will continue to focus on kindness at work. I will get everything in order so help me or else I'm going to turn into someone that I don't like. I'm trying really hard to be someone that I do like. Liking yourself is sort of important, or it should be.

So what have I found since I've been trying to turn myself around? Well, I've been swimming. That's helped. In the few days that I've cut out fried crap I have felt (and looked) much better. I will continue to be a klutz and injure myself constantly, but the bruises fade. I will grumble about scholarships but get them done.

I've learned that I have to be an optimist or else things get ugly. I don't like asking why things are the way they are, or looking back and seeing what I could have done differently. It gets annoying. Most of the time I try to muddle through as best I can.

One really positive thing is that I am back at Faire. I've been hanging out with people I love and admire and have been getting to know a lot more people this year. I like getting to know different people in the different casts. I like getting to know the newbies. I like being able to help get the site ready for when the gates open. I like being outside for 48 hours straight. Even though it's pretty taxing physically and I come home exhausted, it's restful for me. It feels like home to me.

What I've enjoyed the most is getting to know people. That's really what's been the best part of this summer so far is just being in touch with people and talking to people face to face. I've already had some fun with people who I didn't really know before. I'm hoping that it will continue. If my experiences at Faire so far are an indication of how the rest of my summer will be in general, then things are going to be okay.

Plus, right now, it's not really about where I am. It's about where I am going.

Being sick and feeling cared about

I certainly learned something about the life expectancy of seafood salad before it goes bad.

First time I've ever had to call in sick to work. I didn't even feel bad about calling in (which means I really was feeling ill). Yipee. Spending most of the night in a haze of dark nausea because I don't want to risk opening my eyes and possibly throwing up, even though part of me really just wants to upchuck and get it over with, is tons of fun. Sarcasm.

I finally risked puking and got up around 4AM and shuffled myself to the living room, turned on the television and tried not to look at the food commercials. Full House was on Nickelodeon. Never have I been so glad of that TV channel, cause there was nothing else on except the news and I didn't want to watch our world falling apart while I wasn't really sure if I would puke up an empty stomach (because at 4AM I don't think there is much left in your stomach).

Fell asleep on the couch from about 5:30 (after calling in sick), to 8:30. Then I spent the morning watching American Pickers while napping and trying to not move. Every time I did move I got another lovely wave of nausea. This finally started to subside around 10 in the morning and I was able to sip some Sprite.
Then came the stuffy nose and headache. I have no clue what the heck my body is trying to tell me. I understand that we don't eat any more seafood salad that is over one day old. Can we not get sick with a cold though? I'd really appreciate that. I have a college visit at the end of the week.

Something on a slightly different note that I want to mention.
November has been a slightly better month for me that September and October where. Maybe because I'm finally trying to stop doing everything on my own, or maybe my Grandpa is watching over me. It's our month, after all. I still miss him a lot.
I've noticed a lot of friends using terms of endearment for me lately, mostly among my friends who are older than I am (which is completely fine with me).  Lately I've heard the words "sweetling, sweetie, darling, baby, hun, sweetheart" and probably a few other words that I'm blanking out on.
All my life my Grandpa called me "beautiful." It's a special term that I associate with him. I'm especially sensitive about these things during November because our birthdays are in this month. I used to hate terms of endearment, but lately I've been finding them to be comforting. This morning there was a small outburst of "feel better" well wishers on my facebook page and even though I still felt awful physically I felt a lot better emotionally because of the family I seem to have landed myself in. I don't feel like I collected some of my new friends (as I used to think), I feel more like they took me in to their circles and collected me.

Now that my slightly sick state has made me go all mushy (because that above is about as mushy as I get), I'm going to try cooking some Mrs. Grassy's chicken noodle soup. I've grown up with this as my "post stomach upset" food and it's never failed me so far. I haven't been queasy since 10AM and have been keeping the Sprite down. I think I can do this. 

Other than feeling like a lump all day, I got word from my Creative Writing Professor about my mid-term grades. I'm pulling an A in her class! Now if I can manage to get through History with a B I'll be happy with this semester.

Promises.

Yes I feel very guilty for neglecting my "real life" blog.

Here's what happened- real life.

Bristol ended, and school started. Along with school, I am working part time as a barista and earning more in one week than I earned in two weeks at my old job. Part of that is they pay me a little bit better, and I also have a minimum of 12 hours a week because it's a union job. Along with schooling and my job, I teach dance on Thursday nights and take dance on Monday and Thursday.

Oh, and I went to one audition on Saturday, and am planning on going to another a week from tomorrow. I didn't do my best at the audition on Saturday, but you win some and you lose some right? I'm actually okay considering that I think I won't make the show. I have only been cut from something once, and to be honest, I'm looking forward to getting some rejections.

Along with dealing with the lovely stress of auditions, I have the lovely stress of having a teacher in my Western Civilization class who likes to stress me out. That is all I will say on this topic because I do not want this blog to turn into a ranting spot.

Add on top of that, trying to maintain the friendships I started this summer at Bristol. It's tough. I miss people. I miss a LOT of people.
I remember one of my friends from Bristol promising me that they'd have a movie night and have me come and visit. Now, with some "theater type people" saying that "we should have a movie night" is like when you meet an old acquaintance and promise to have coffee without really ever meaning what you say. I've learned to take promises of future events with a grain of salt and try not to hope too hard. I also try to follow through on my promises of this type of nature, or at least acknowledge that these speculative ideas are simply ideas.
However, I had a good amount of faith in this person and they made good on their promise. So yesterday I hoped onto a train and got myself to the city for a Pirate Movie Night. I think I was almost looking forward to this too much.
To put things briefly- this week has stressed me out more than most weeks. On top of social complications, work, school, auditions, and a queasy stomach, I've had to make some hard choices about how much my faith comes into my life. This does not make for a very sane me.

Last year I relied on coffee as my pacifier, this year it is Chai Tea.

It's amazing how seeing just a few dear friends can make a difference. I was actually able to eat a decent sized meal for the first time in about five days. I found myself able to relax without having to remind myself to release the tension in my shoulders. I was up until about 2 AM playing a board game that still doesn't make any sense, but it was fun and I was with people I've been missing for weeks. This was a promise fulfilled.

As I was thinking about this today, I've been wondering about what has God promised me? I can't say I like all of the challenges put in front of me recently. Some of them have been downright painful and I want to know why. Have you ever felt like just asking God, WHY?
A few weeks ago I made a commitment to go further in my faith and welcome the challenges that would be brought to me. This week's challenges made me remember exactly how miserable I felt last year, because that's how I felt for a few days this week. There was lots of Chai Tea and teddy-bear hugging. Now we're back to just the Chai Tea stage.
I remember hearing the small voice that said "I can't wait to show you the plans I have for you." and I knew it was God talking to me. That was only two weeks ago. My life has certainly become topsy truvy in the last 14 days.
If last year was about learning to trust God no matter what. I think this year I'm hearing the word "Obey" and "Surrender." Not easy concepts for me to grasp. However, I want to see what promises and plans God has for me this year. 

Now I've got to get back to more of that stressful history homework for that "wonderful" professor who is currently driving me up a wall.

Challenges

"For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."
Matthew 11:30

This summer my faith has been challenged in ways I didn't think it would be. No one has outright challenged me as to why I believe what I believe, but questions have been coming up in my head every now and then and I actually have to think about "Why wouldn't I go along with that?" or "Is this what I really believe?"


Unfortunately, some of these things I don't know the answers too. I just don't know what I think about some maters when it comes to the world around me. I don't think this is a bad thing either. I like things that make me think and grow and form my own opinion.
Something that I want to strive for is basing my opinions and beliefs on what I have discovered and researched and come to believe, rather than just relying on what I've been taught all my life.

Let me clarify that I am NOT saying that what I've been taught is wrong. A lot of what I've been taught growing up I believe to be right, but I've come to that decision based on researching the answers for myself and "double checking." What can I say, I like to learn and research. I want to know the reasoning behind why I believe what I believe.

"So be wise as serpents and innocent as doves." Matthew 10:16


Since I am firm in a few things about my faith, I know I cannot bend the few principles I am firm on. If I bend them, what is holding me up? What standards can I have if I don't uphold the few things I am certain of now?
Sometimes it's really hard and I don't want to say "no." I've had to say no and pull back a couple times. More than a few times I've thought about bending. You can only bend so far until you break.

One thing I do know, is that I am firm in the essentials of my faith. I believe that Christianity is about love. Ultimately that's what my faith is all about. I am a failing human loved by a perfect God who I love as my Abba-Father. I will make mistakes and screw up (a lot) and He will still love me and forgive me.

I am really nervous about posting this. I've never posted anything so blatant about my faith before. 


If anything, this summer has taught me that I will be okay in the world and still maintain my faith. I might be going through an upward climb, but it's going to be okay. The first week of college was much easier than last year, and I already know I'm going to grow in many ways.
Last year was trusting that God would get me through each day. Now I've been able to get through that hard year and I know I will be provided for. This year is going to be new challenges and I'm looking forward to finding out what my Abba-Father and I will be working on this year. 

Hopefully I will be posting again soon on my Astonishing blog. I know I've been really heavy on the Anne blog this summer, but that blog has been there to chronicle my summer at Faire, and for the most part that's what I've been doing other than working (new job as Barista).
We have one weekend left for the Faire and I hope that if you haven't gone yet that you will come this weekend! It would mean a lot to me. I love the people that I am working with and they are the kindest most genuine people on earth. Look on my Anne blog for the last few posts I will be writing, including what will happen with my Anne blog once Faire is over, which I still need to think through.

Thank you for letting me be vulnerable through my writing, even if I'm hiding behind the mask of the internet.

Halfway Through Summer

It's been an eventful time of late...

Ren Faire is most amazing place in the world. Now onto the rest of my life.

I changed jobs. I'm not working in a shop anymore. I'm a barista now at Vero and just had my first day of practical training. I worked a lot on the register and made a lot of mistakes but my coworkers said that I was doing really well for my first day. We serve other things besides just coffee, so I'm learning how to serve gelato and make fried dough puffs. It was a slightly difficult first day and I felt like I failed a lot, but as someone (or many people) have said to me, "If you're not failing, you're not trying hard enough." I guess I'm trying really hard because that register hates me. I shall not let it conquer me! I shall prevail and win it's affection!

I'm still making a lot of reconsiderations about which direction to go in. Right now I'm still dancing, but I want to explore my writing, my passion for history, and my passion for general performance. I'll probably take a history and a creative writing class this fall as part of my college studies. Being in Ren Faire has made me take a step back and really look at the realistic aspect of some of my career ideas.

There's been a recent learning curve on "How do I react to certain things?" I recently found out that if I'm boxed in and "attacked" without a determinable exit- I'll turn into River Tam and possibly hurt somebody. That was a scary thing to realize. I think I scared myself more than anything. Now I get to learn how to deal with that and make sure that I take care of myself and the people around me so that I don't have another River Tam "Miranda" moment.  Oh well, we live, we learn, we grow, and we work through things.

God is challenging me on a lot of things. My health hasn't been the greatest. I've gotten a lot of fatigue and I'm going to be getting a general physical on Thursday to make sure that there isn't anything wrong. Hopefully it will just be an imbalance on my vitamins and I'll take some supplements and be A-ok. It's hard to be not at my best and I just have to trust that this is only a season. Change will come, hopefully for the better. Slowly I'm turning more and more over to Him and He's brought some great things into my life. I've also had a lot of mini-lessons that haven't been too fun, but God is going to carry me through it.

Waking Up

I have encountered a new phenomenon that happens when I wake up.
I feel anxious. Like going to an audition sorta-kinda-not-really wanting to throw up anxious.
It happened every day when I woke up last week, and it happened through the weekend and it was here again today. Lovely. 

Last week I also consistently woke up with a Sea Shanty stuck in my head. Today I woke up with a "Dernnit it's only 6:30!!!!" and not being able to go back to sleep because of said stomach anxious feeling issues.
Yesterday at BRF (go see the post at Tales of Anne Drew), I also did not feel like eating ANYTHING. I would take a bite of something, be chewing it, and would feel absolutely sick. Then I would force myself to swallow and I'd be fine after a few seconds. My mother tells me that this is because of the heat. I think it sucks because I kind of need to eat to keep going through the BRF days.

But I will stop that rant and move onto what's been happening in the past week.
I got some hours at work! It's still not enough to keep me going all summer, and I have picked up some babysitting jobs, but I filled out 5 applications for various places and am praying that I get a job at one of these business establishments. Business Establishments....sounds so official, don't it?
Just to be clear- I love my job. I love the people I work with. I would be very happy if I could get a few more hours, but I don't think it's possible because I was told that the company cut back on the hours and I can't work weekends. I don't know, one of my fellow workers is leaving because she never got enough hours.

 Other than sorta working, I helped a lot around my house to pay of the gas money that I contribute as the carpool to BRF instigator. My family had a garage sale this weekend and I helped my mom sort out things, price things, and helped with the actual selling of things for a morning. It's nice to know that I won't actually have to pay for my gas from this weekend.
I also when to dance class after a two week break last Monday and it was great! I loved being back at it and I was on such a happy-high afterwards until I sat down on my train seat and was like "What did I just do?" Then I woke up sore and very happy on Tuesday. My other dance class starts this week on Thursday (I think). I'm hoping that it will be as good as the one that I took during the school year on Tuesday nights. 

I need to write more in my story. I have a problem because the part that I have to write is not the part that I want to be writing. Ergo I procrastinate. But the part that I need to be writing is very essential for certain character developments and relational standings. Still I am seriously procrastinating. This week I am aiming to get to a certain point in my writing.

Now it's almost the time that I thought I would wake up at. I think it's time to start getting the day going.

Bumpy Road

So I've been telling myself "I need to post." Then life would happen.
The next day I'd tell myself "I need to post." Then life would happen.
Then the next day I'd tell myself "I need to post." Then life would happen.

Needless to say- there's been a LOT of life going on. Some good, but lately I've been hit with a lot of conflicting stuff.


First point of Life- My old youth theater program split ways with the main company and now, while still holding the same values (essentially), it's a mess. No one knows what's going on and there is a ton of uncertainty. I'm slightly glad that I've graduated from this program and only teach there now and then.
Many good things happened in this theater group, and many challenging things. So there's a lot that I'm just waiting to "see what happens" on the subject. To be honest I'm tired of seeing all of the notifications on Facebook about this. I know it's important, but I feel like there's just too much confusion right now. Everyone needs to simmer down for a while.

Second point- I will not be working for two weeks. This week, and next week I am not scheduled for any hours. This is very worrisome. I'm supposed to be able to pay for gas to get to and from the RenFaire(See point 3). I was also hoping to accumulate some savings, and start paying for most of my expenses. Guess what's not happening?
This is probably the worst thing I am dealing with right now. I actually had to go into work and check the schedule. I started crying once I got back to the car.
I know the company has cut back on hours, but not getting any hours when I know my coworkers are getting 12-20 hours a week stinks. The only redeemable part of this is that my parents have agreed to let me do extra chores and stuff around the house to pay off my gas money. If my work hours keep up like this I'm going to need to find a new job.
I'm really praying hard about this. I don't know what to do. I know God's in charge and that he's going to take care of me, but I don't know what I am supposed to be doing right now. That annoys the heck out of me.

Third point- I'm starting RenFaire training and I'm scared stiff. I have no idea what I've got myself into. I'm gradually getting more and more terrified. Everything about the process has felt completely paralyzing, but at the same time, it feels like home. How warped is that?

Fourth point- I don't know if I'm going to be able to dance this summer at all. I don't know if I can take time out of my work schedule to dance. This makes me want to punch a wall.

The stupid thing is that I work so that I can have money to dance and participate in RenFaire. If I don't work- what gets eliminated? The dancing, RenFaire, or the work?

Tip of the iceberg.

Oy vey. I need a vacation, or a personal assistant. Or maybe more sleep. Less homework? More dancing? Less inconvenient work hours? Btw- I'm working from 4-9 tonight. With one 15 minute break. Cue mental breakdown. 

To put things lightly- I'm stressed out, surviving on caffeine, herbal tea, hot coca, not getting enough restful sleep, and trying to juggle 20 things at any one given time. I'm overwhelmed. I'm trying to apply for colleges and need to send supplemental things into the two I am applying for. I'm trying to keep on top of my homework. I'm doing battle with my face on a daily basis and hate looking in the mirror. The list goes on. I can't even enjoy time that I take to be with friends because I have to do SO MUCH!  

College= lots of homework. Even though only 3 of my 5 classes actually have real home-work to do, it's plenty and I still haven't done half of my ASL homework for monday. It'll get done monday morning- per usual. 

My Psych and English papers will be started sometime tomorrow? And are due on the 16th. Now, if I was a sane college student who didn't have a job, didn't go to dance class, and didn't audition for ANYTHING- these papers would be done in two days (each). I'd pat myself on the back and turn them in early. 

ha.ha.ha. Who lives in that reality? I want to punch them. Seriously.  

Btw- this is going to be a longer post. Stop reading now if you don't have the time. 

Funny story from English 102- a guy in my english class started arguing with my professor. My professor- Ms. R-W is awesome. She's really knowledgeable in a lot of different areas and she's sarcastic and is just fantastic! So this kid starts arguing with her about how to write something (I think we were talking about summarizing). Finally she says "Tim, who do you think is smarter? You or me?" 

Tim has the lack of brain to say "Uh....Um....you? Probably?" 

@$&*%#! 

Next comment is why I love my teacher. She just gives him this look that totally says 'you're really stupid' and replies "Probably." First of all- Tim had no idea what he was arguing about. He seriously didn't know the meaning of the words he was using. Really funny for those of us listening and watching Ms. R-W. 

Also- my teacher underestimates my general knowledge base. I'm going to enjoy showing her that I probably know a little bit more than the average High School Graduate. There's a few students (actually about half the class) who didn't know what an aardvark is. My teacher didn't think I that I knew what Spiritualism is, or about Harry Houdini, or Darrow (monkey trials). Btw- these all have have to do with my research paper on Arthur Conan Doyle- the author of Sherlock Holmes. Doyle was much more like Watson. This is going to be a fun class (no sarcasm)! 

Apparently everyone thinks that they are above average. Considering half of my class (plus the fact that I knew of the rare and elusive aardvark), I think I'm at least at average. Or just very well read. 

Enough of school- onto work. 

My work has scheduled me for two weeks in advance. This means I cannot take off certain days that I was planning on asking for. I've never been scheduled for more than one week in advance at a time. This means no swing-dancing on the 11th. This means a very pissed off me. However, this also means I make a LOT of money in the next few weeks. 

However- my gratis from work is going to be amazing (I get a lot of goodies!), so I am slightly appeased. Only slightly. 

From work we go onto my personal life- This is a joke, you may laugh out loud. 

Are you done laughing? Good. 

Apart from getting talked to about being an independent human being from my dermatologist (not fun)....I know I still live at home and my parents do pay for the majority of my food, car gas, and school. However, I do manage a lot of my own life. I do not need anyone accusing my mom of hovering over me. She is not a hover-mother. 

And yes, I know my face is difficult and I'm sorry my life got busy and I forgot to take my pills. I do wash my face ever day like I'm supposed to. I am trying. Don't quote Yoda, I will punch you. 

Luckily I've found two monologues that work for my Ren Faire audition, two songs, and am working on my dance piece. Clair De Lune shall be put together as soon as possible. 

Dance is going great- as usual, ergo- nothing much to say about that this week.  

Welcome to the tip of the iceberg. 

Now that we have gone over the basics and practical side of my insane life right now. Expect a post sometime in the future about what actually going on inside my head. This has only been the external. 

 

New Studio!

For the first time in months, I'm debating going to class because I'm so tired.

Emotionally, physically, mentally, I'm tired. I smile involuntarily when I'm talking to people, not because I'm happy. Even if I'm complaining, I'm smiling (trying not to complain much, my life is too blessed to be cluttered with complaints). It's kind of funny because I said something about life being a little stressful, and someone said "But you're smiling!" to which I wittily replied, "Really?" I don't even recognize when I'm smiling anymore! I find this funny, does anyone else?
Physical tiredness is the easiest and hardest to deal with in my opinion. Easiest because, well, it's not being emotionally drained or mentally unable to compute things any longer. Hardest because trying to keep your eyes open when all you want to do is fall over is kind of difficult.
Mental tiredness? I actually suppose that this isn't one of my problems at the moment. I'm probably fine as far as my mental energy goes. I don't think I ever really run out of mental energy. Now if only I can figure out how to make that mental energy turn into physical energy...

So last night I found a new studio! This one has a pre-professional class for ages 18 and up. It was amazing! A bit further than the one I have been going to on Tuesday nights (30 minutes vs. 15), but I think it will be well worth it! The class is twice a week too! Tuesdays and Thursdays! I loved it and can't wait to go back!
The only problem now is that I'm so tired today that I'm wondering if going to class at the HugeStudio is a good idea. Granted, I did work for five hours yesterday, then go to an intense dance class, then get up for a 9AM class today. Will I cut myself slack?
Maybe I just will take Jazz and not Pilates today. Make up for it by stretching and doing some exercises at home. Take out a few Pilates DVDs from the library. That sounds reasonable, doesn't it?

Funny story from yesterday.
Got a visit from the Mayor of the town I live in at the shop I work at (Bath and Body Works). Totally didn't recognize her. One of those "I definitely should know who you are but I can't place you" moments. Of course, she was very nice and pleasant, read my name-tag and joked about loving sales tax. I kinda guessed that she was the mayor once she joked about the tax, but I still wasn't sure. So she left the store and my co-worker turns to me and says "You know who that was right?"
Once again, my witty remarks surface. "Um...I'm not sure."
Of course I felt a little embarrassed that I didn't recognize the mayor, but at least my co-worker was really nice about my little bought of forgetfulness. Now I will always recognize the mayor-of-the-town-I-live-in.

Hi-Ho!

Hi-Ho! It's off to work we go!

So work was really busy and I enjoyed myself. I love the ladies I work with. Really, they are so kind and it's such a good work environment. Blessing from God!
Apparently someone got a full time job and can only work weekends now, and gave no notice...oops. So that means I get more hours this week! Working a lot on Friday after-hours. 4-11pm. 

Shout out to my "sister" HumbleIndigo for finding me! While her name on these boards might be UnassumingAzure (Those are other meanings of the words Humble and Indigo for those of you who didn't catch that), I call her Freyy. Have done so for YEARS, and can't break the habit. Plus, Freyy is a lot easier to type out. Anyway- she's amazing and I love her so much! My big sister in so many ways.
Thank goodness I have Freyy to critique my writing, and the Doctor to be a sounding board/advisory on magic in my little make-believe world. What would I do if I didn't have nerdy amazing friends?

Anyway- I have to go finish the "rough draft" of my Source Evaluation Paper. Backwards it spells- Pure Evil Source-of-headache. :P

Crazy Time!

Maybe I shouldn't have called into work saying I could take a shift tomorrow night....
First of all, I'm working tomorrow from 10-1pm. Then I go home, do homework, eat lunch and pack a "Dinner." and then go BACK to work from 5-8:30.
Then I get to rush my butt over to dance class and pretend to be co-ordinated for a while.
By Friday I have a "evualuation of sources" paper due...I can't write much of it on Wednesday, because I'm taking dance and am gone from 3pm-10pm at night. I could stay up really late Wednesday and work all day Thursday. Can't do it thursady night because I want to go to a friend in a show, and I can't see it any other night except Thursday. Why? I'm working Friday, at a theater all day Saturday, then on Sunday I have to work again from 4:45-MIDNIGHT!!!
I really should have called in an said that I couldn't do the shift. Instead I'm thinking about how much I need the money so I can pay for another dance class, and pay for a girl's weekend trip, and pay for a dance I want to go to, and pay for the dress I'll need to buy, and pay for my coffee habits.
Arg, I think I've gotta skip dance tomorrow night and work on my stupid assignment.

I hate having to skip dance class!!!! Fastest way to tick me off. Oh well, it's my own fault. The need of funds vs the passion of dance. Need of funds won out this time (or maybe, the need for a good grade).

To be continued...