July 4th, the official day that America declared that they were independent from Britain. Our day as American citizens to show that we're proud of our country and our government and our freedoms. We celebrate with hot dogs and hamburgers and fireworks. Oh, and apple pie, who could forget the apple pie?
Actually, until recently I counted myself in the "I don't like pie" group. For some reason (maybe some friends who are AMAZING cooks and bakers) my taste buds seem to have expanded and I now like pie. However, this is not a post about my journey of finding out that I like pie! It's about my personal patiotism and how I feel about my country.
Since I'm a citizen of America, I get to say what I want about how my government runs my country. A group of remarkable men set down in writing a list of rights that every man is entitled to in this country. Unfortunately they are all dead, so we can't ask them what they think of the country today.
Last week I took a vacation to Colorado Springs. I got to hike around the mountains a little bit, and wondered at how those pioneers made it through the Rockies and all the way to Oregon in their covered wagons. Granted, they were a lot hardier than we are today. Those mountains are beautiful and breathtaking. I could see why people are proud to be apart of this country just because of the land. Unfortunately, some days, I think that's all I'm proud of about this country.
It's no secret that our schools are failing when compared to the rest of the world. I'm continually disgusted and flustered when my little sister talks to me about what she's learning in school. I've read a few of the books she was required to read throughout the year, most of them are good, but there should be more of them. There is so much "busywork" that I'm not sure what purpose is served by those packets other than to take up time and drill test taking skills into my little sister, who forgets the information she learned as soon as she's done with the test. Her brain space needs to be filled with new information to spit back out and forget once another test is done. I'm worried for the future generations of school children and what exactly they are going to come out of school knowing about their country and their history.
Then there is the government. I don't follow politics enough to fully understand what's going on all the time, but when I do start reading about what's going on, I start to fear for what might happen. I respect that running a country this large is difficult and I would not want that responsibility. Each president inherits the problems and flukes that the previous president had to deal with, and in some instances, created. Then there are the political parties, so obsessed with their own agendas that they would rather block the other party from making a difference than work with that party for the good of the people. I'm not referring to any party in particular, just making an observation about the parties in general. There are some great things that people are trying to accomplish through our government. They are imperfect, but at least there is groundwork being laid down. Then again, there are many rights that people try and take away though pushing agendas and egos.
But then there are the people that I meet along the way who just ordinary people. They're living their life just as I'm living mine. Making it day to day, reacting to what's going on in the capitol. These are hard working people. These are kind and generous people who have their hopes and dreams and are entitled to those dreams.
Unfortunately, America seems to promise fame, fortune, and power to anyone who wants these qualities. Not everyone will be famous, rich, or a CEO who wields great power over a company. I don't really care about being famous, rich, or a CEO. Not every little child will get to be president. Not every child will go to the moon. I might not make it on the stage.
My "American Dream" is more about being stable. I don't want my name plastered across magazines for what I'm wearing on any particular day, or what drama is going on. The idea of not having any privacy, like many celebrities, it appalling. If my friends know who I am, and I'm able to have a decent network among my coworkers and professional world, that could get me along just fine. I don't need a million dollars (even though that would take care of my college tuition), but being able to pay my bills and keep above debt would be nice. I don't need to influence thousands of employees, but being able to mentor a young woman or two as an "older sister" has brought me joy.
America has a history just like any other country. We've had our very proud moments of success and being able to lend a hand. We've had our very bad days of surrender and meddling where we shouldn't. We've brought people to our land, and we've tried to annihilate other people as well. So we're a mixed bag, which country isn't? We've got a lot of problems to fix, which country doesn't?
Back to that pioneer thing. Some days I have trouble feeling patriotic because of all of the troubles that I see going on in America. However, looking out over the mountains, I could see why people are proud of this country. Driving in the car on the way back, I saw towns and farms pass by and thought about my country. It is a beautiful and varied landscape to be sure. I can see why people would be wiling to fight for this land if that's where they felt they had a home and a life. I'm grateful that I live somewhere where I can write these opinions without fear of retaliation (other than from internet trolls and the like). I get to live where my gender does not (directly) limit me in my vocational choices and quality of life. I get to practice the religion of my choosing without worrying about being jailed or killed for what I believe.
So today I'm wearing blue, my hair is already red, and I'll figure something out for the white. I'm proud of the progress my country has made over time, and pray that it will continue to progress for the greater good of the people who inhabit this vast nation. I'll go dancing and celebrate our founding fathers writing the Declaration of Independence. I will remember the women and men who have died forming this country, and the members of the armed forces who have defended us.
Today, I'm all right with being American. It's not a bad thing to be.
Thursday, July 4, 2013
Wednesday, June 12, 2013
AT&T Scholarship Essay- Internet TV
Question:
Has the On Demand revolution and shift to consuming media online affected you positively or negatively as a student? How?
Answer:
For
me, growing up during the late 1990s and early 2000s, watching TV was a pastime
done in the living room with my family. If I wasn’t watching TV on our living
room set, I was watching some funny clips and music videos on YouTube.
Now I’m finding that with the shift to
Internet viewing of TV shows and movies, I am spending less time in my family
room and more time in my bedroom to watch any and all of my TV shows. Since TV
shows are so easily available to me, I often played an episode of The Twilight Zone, Modern Family, or Once Upon a
Time while I did my homework. Or at least, I used to. There are several
reasons why I have stopped playing movies and television shows in the
background while I work on my school subjects. Three of the most important ones
are that I have better focus without the distraction of TV, my grades improve,
and when I do choose to watch a TV show I enjoy it more because I’m able to
focus only on the show itself.
I
used to play music and listen to TV shows in the background as I worked on
homework. What I discovered within these recent months is that I had a hard
time focusing on my assignments because I had so much noise going on around me.
If I was listening to a TV show then I wasn’t really paying attention to what I
was writing for class, but when I was writing I hardly heard what was going on
in the TV show. Sometimes the silence is too much for me, and I play
instrumental and classical music, but without the TV noise in the background
I'm able to focus on my schoolwork and get it done more quickly.
I
also observed a distinct rise in my grades once I cut out the background noise
of TV. While I was a B student on average for my homework, it frustrated me
because I knew that I could be getting As in my classes. I understood the
material and thought that I had completed my assignments well. While it didn’t
occur to me outright that I should cut out TV while doing homework, I found
that it was an added bonus to my improved focus and memory retention of my
classes’ material.
Now
when I want to focus on watching a TV show, I’m able to enjoy the entertainment
and give more of my attention to watching the shows I like. I’ve never been a
TV addict, and I often miss a few weeks of my favorite TV shows and have to
catch up. However, now that I have the time to catch up because I’m not doing
double duty with my homework, I don’t feel guilty about spending time watching
TV!
It's not where I am, it's where I'm going.
To be honest, I'm frustrated with myself. I'm frustrated with my circumstances. I'm frustrated by people who normally don't tick me off.
I am listless, lazy, unproductive, impulsive, and probably a few other choice words that aren't usually in my arsenal of "describe yourself" answers.
Usually I answer those words, "describe yourself," with words like the following: Productive. Responsible. Fairly Organized. Motivated. Healthy. Inquisitive.
Those words up there ^......not me right now.
I've been getting several wake up calls to this, and I've actually seen this process happening over a long period of time. It started a little while back in the most recent school semester. I would have trouble working on assignments until it was two days before they were due. Or the night before. More often than not I forgot to write a journal entry for a class.
I mean, I still pulled As in all my classes, but that didn't really feel good. I felt like I had coasted through the semester.
The same with dance classes. I had to miss a LOT of classes due to school (when I was being responsible about my assignments). Then there have been some weird schedules at work, so dance took a back seat because I need to earn cash. Ergo, I'm out of shape and not happy about it. However, I'm having trouble finding motivation to work out at home.
At work, for the most part, I'm okay. I'm a little weary but I'm okay, I guess. I've made my peace with staying at my job through the summer instead of trying to find something different that will work with my family's vacation and Ren Faire. It's paying off and I'm getting good hours. So long as I keep putting my paychecks in the bank I should see some profit and a money cushion for the fall and college. I'll need to work out a plan for how to (not) spend my money, but that will be a budgeting lesson that I need to learn anyway. Still there are many days were I resign myself to getting into the car and driving to work.
Most of this stems from the fact that I'm stressed. Or at least, I'm going to say that it is. I'm worried. I'm worried about how I'm going to pay for college. I'm worried about a few of my friends. I'm worried about the stupid tick bite that I got up at Faire this past weekend. I'm worried about how I'm not getting any scholarships. I'm worried about how I'm not motivated to do anything. I'm worried about how I'm always craving really really sugary salty bad for you foods.
And this stress is really affecting me. I can't think straight without starting to get on myself about how I have 10 billion things to get done. Instead of doing things, because I'm tired, I take naps and watch Hulu. Not anymore. I'm starting to change things.
Daily Bible Study (which, ironically, seems to be the only thing I manage to be halfway consistent on even in my non motivated state). No more junky food. I've got to exercise once every day at the least. I have to spend an hour on scholarships every day. I want to read/write everyday, even if it's the newspaper I'm reading or only one sentence that I'm writing. I will continue to focus on kindness at work. I will get everything in order so help me or else I'm going to turn into someone that I don't like. I'm trying really hard to be someone that I do like. Liking yourself is sort of important, or it should be.
So what have I found since I've been trying to turn myself around? Well, I've been swimming. That's helped. In the few days that I've cut out fried crap I have felt (and looked) much better. I will continue to be a klutz and injure myself constantly, but the bruises fade. I will grumble about scholarships but get them done.
I've learned that I have to be an optimist or else things get ugly. I don't like asking why things are the way they are, or looking back and seeing what I could have done differently. It gets annoying. Most of the time I try to muddle through as best I can.
One really positive thing is that I am back at Faire. I've been hanging out with people I love and admire and have been getting to know a lot more people this year. I like getting to know different people in the different casts. I like getting to know the newbies. I like being able to help get the site ready for when the gates open. I like being outside for 48 hours straight. Even though it's pretty taxing physically and I come home exhausted, it's restful for me. It feels like home to me.
What I've enjoyed the most is getting to know people. That's really what's been the best part of this summer so far is just being in touch with people and talking to people face to face. I've already had some fun with people who I didn't really know before. I'm hoping that it will continue. If my experiences at Faire so far are an indication of how the rest of my summer will be in general, then things are going to be okay.
Plus, right now, it's not really about where I am. It's about where I am going.
I am listless, lazy, unproductive, impulsive, and probably a few other choice words that aren't usually in my arsenal of "describe yourself" answers.
Usually I answer those words, "describe yourself," with words like the following: Productive. Responsible. Fairly Organized. Motivated. Healthy. Inquisitive.
Those words up there ^......not me right now.
I've been getting several wake up calls to this, and I've actually seen this process happening over a long period of time. It started a little while back in the most recent school semester. I would have trouble working on assignments until it was two days before they were due. Or the night before. More often than not I forgot to write a journal entry for a class.
I mean, I still pulled As in all my classes, but that didn't really feel good. I felt like I had coasted through the semester.
The same with dance classes. I had to miss a LOT of classes due to school (when I was being responsible about my assignments). Then there have been some weird schedules at work, so dance took a back seat because I need to earn cash. Ergo, I'm out of shape and not happy about it. However, I'm having trouble finding motivation to work out at home.
At work, for the most part, I'm okay. I'm a little weary but I'm okay, I guess. I've made my peace with staying at my job through the summer instead of trying to find something different that will work with my family's vacation and Ren Faire. It's paying off and I'm getting good hours. So long as I keep putting my paychecks in the bank I should see some profit and a money cushion for the fall and college. I'll need to work out a plan for how to (not) spend my money, but that will be a budgeting lesson that I need to learn anyway. Still there are many days were I resign myself to getting into the car and driving to work.
Most of this stems from the fact that I'm stressed. Or at least, I'm going to say that it is. I'm worried. I'm worried about how I'm going to pay for college. I'm worried about a few of my friends. I'm worried about the stupid tick bite that I got up at Faire this past weekend. I'm worried about how I'm not getting any scholarships. I'm worried about how I'm not motivated to do anything. I'm worried about how I'm always craving really really sugary salty bad for you foods.
And this stress is really affecting me. I can't think straight without starting to get on myself about how I have 10 billion things to get done. Instead of doing things, because I'm tired, I take naps and watch Hulu. Not anymore. I'm starting to change things.
Daily Bible Study (which, ironically, seems to be the only thing I manage to be halfway consistent on even in my non motivated state). No more junky food. I've got to exercise once every day at the least. I have to spend an hour on scholarships every day. I want to read/write everyday, even if it's the newspaper I'm reading or only one sentence that I'm writing. I will continue to focus on kindness at work. I will get everything in order so help me or else I'm going to turn into someone that I don't like. I'm trying really hard to be someone that I do like. Liking yourself is sort of important, or it should be.
So what have I found since I've been trying to turn myself around? Well, I've been swimming. That's helped. In the few days that I've cut out fried crap I have felt (and looked) much better. I will continue to be a klutz and injure myself constantly, but the bruises fade. I will grumble about scholarships but get them done.
I've learned that I have to be an optimist or else things get ugly. I don't like asking why things are the way they are, or looking back and seeing what I could have done differently. It gets annoying. Most of the time I try to muddle through as best I can.
One really positive thing is that I am back at Faire. I've been hanging out with people I love and admire and have been getting to know a lot more people this year. I like getting to know different people in the different casts. I like getting to know the newbies. I like being able to help get the site ready for when the gates open. I like being outside for 48 hours straight. Even though it's pretty taxing physically and I come home exhausted, it's restful for me. It feels like home to me.
What I've enjoyed the most is getting to know people. That's really what's been the best part of this summer so far is just being in touch with people and talking to people face to face. I've already had some fun with people who I didn't really know before. I'm hoping that it will continue. If my experiences at Faire so far are an indication of how the rest of my summer will be in general, then things are going to be okay.
Plus, right now, it's not really about where I am. It's about where I am going.
Tuesday, April 30, 2013
Looking to the Horizon
Today my brain feels like it will explode. Just one of those days where it is one thing after another, never ending.
So what did I do? I took a walk. That was probably the best thing I could have done today. Simple physical exertion. No ipods, cell phone turned on silent, a bottle of water to keep me hydrated. It was more than just "nice." It was needed.
Things are (in general) looking up. I've managed to navigate some stressful situations that I'm not necessarily through, but God is keeping me going. He's always there for me. I'm forever grateful for that. I know there is a plan He's laid out for me. He's shown up in amazing ways of late.
For instance....
I've been accepted into my dream school, Roosevelt University, into the Chicago College of the Performing Arts for a Musical Theater (Dance Emphasis) major. I've toured the campus, and it's so beautiful. It feels right to be in the city. I know that it's where I want to go. I want to go so badly. In my opinion, it's a bit of a miracle that I even made it into the program.
Now I'm praying and looking for a way to finance my education. All I can say about Roosevelt is that it's $$$. I'll have to take out loans, do work study, save all that I can from my part time job paycheck, and apply for a million scholarships.
I'd be lying if I said that I'm not afraid that I won't find the money to fill the gap between me and school. I will be heartbroken. I don't say or use that word lightly.
I know that if God wants me at Roosevelt, my family and I will find the money. He will provide for me wherever I need to go. He's already provided for so much in this journey. I've been well cared for and am learning to give over control. It's not easy. I have to constantly give up control of something that I have very little control over. It's simply my way to want to try and control things, especially when I want something so much.
Still, I have faith that the money will be there. I will do my part in applying for scholarships and finding ways of saving what I can. Just one year at a time. That's all my family is focusing on right now, because we don't know if I am able to go to school this year, if I'll be able to go next year. It's a sobering thought. It adds a lot of stress to all of us. I don't like the idea of being in debt for 10-15 years after school. I'm crazy because I'm going into a field that simply doesn't pay. Why? Because performing is like breathing to me.
I'll find some way. The biggest hurdle yet was putting down the deposit and saying that I'm going to do my best to go to Roosevelt this fall.
"Live like no one else so you can live like no one else." Right, Dave Ramsey?
I hope that this is just the sun coming up and not the sun setting for me. I have my plan B, going back to Harper and finishing an associates in either Arts or History and then going from there. I've just got to trust God that He's going to come through. Because it's His will over mine. I've learned that in extraordinary ways this year. I've just got to keep learning this lesson. I'm not perfect and it's a process.
Now back to the crazy land of papers and scholarships and community college assignments.
So what did I do? I took a walk. That was probably the best thing I could have done today. Simple physical exertion. No ipods, cell phone turned on silent, a bottle of water to keep me hydrated. It was more than just "nice." It was needed.
Things are (in general) looking up. I've managed to navigate some stressful situations that I'm not necessarily through, but God is keeping me going. He's always there for me. I'm forever grateful for that. I know there is a plan He's laid out for me. He's shown up in amazing ways of late.
For instance....
I've been accepted into my dream school, Roosevelt University, into the Chicago College of the Performing Arts for a Musical Theater (Dance Emphasis) major. I've toured the campus, and it's so beautiful. It feels right to be in the city. I know that it's where I want to go. I want to go so badly. In my opinion, it's a bit of a miracle that I even made it into the program.
Now I'm praying and looking for a way to finance my education. All I can say about Roosevelt is that it's $$$. I'll have to take out loans, do work study, save all that I can from my part time job paycheck, and apply for a million scholarships.
I'd be lying if I said that I'm not afraid that I won't find the money to fill the gap between me and school. I will be heartbroken. I don't say or use that word lightly.
I know that if God wants me at Roosevelt, my family and I will find the money. He will provide for me wherever I need to go. He's already provided for so much in this journey. I've been well cared for and am learning to give over control. It's not easy. I have to constantly give up control of something that I have very little control over. It's simply my way to want to try and control things, especially when I want something so much.
Still, I have faith that the money will be there. I will do my part in applying for scholarships and finding ways of saving what I can. Just one year at a time. That's all my family is focusing on right now, because we don't know if I am able to go to school this year, if I'll be able to go next year. It's a sobering thought. It adds a lot of stress to all of us. I don't like the idea of being in debt for 10-15 years after school. I'm crazy because I'm going into a field that simply doesn't pay. Why? Because performing is like breathing to me.
I'll find some way. The biggest hurdle yet was putting down the deposit and saying that I'm going to do my best to go to Roosevelt this fall.
"Live like no one else so you can live like no one else." Right, Dave Ramsey?
I hope that this is just the sun coming up and not the sun setting for me. I have my plan B, going back to Harper and finishing an associates in either Arts or History and then going from there. I've just got to trust God that He's going to come through. Because it's His will over mine. I've learned that in extraordinary ways this year. I've just got to keep learning this lesson. I'm not perfect and it's a process.
Now back to the crazy land of papers and scholarships and community college assignments.
Tuesday, March 26, 2013
On My Own, but not quite anymore.
Second time I've used a song title as a post title...might need to nip that in the bud soon. But for now we shall carry on!
Ready to hear a not-so-secret secret? You sure? All right, well, I'll tell you.
I house sat for a month in February!
Seriously, that's the secret. I actually didn't advertise this particular experience for several reasons.
1) It was safer to not advertise that I was a young woman living by myself in a friend's house for a month.
2) It was kind of nice to have a place where I could just hide away and I wanted to see if I could live on my own without making a big fuss about the whole thing.
3) I did not plan on having any parties or mass amounts of friends over. Actually, BestieBomba came over twice, and some friends picked me up for a handful of events, but other than that no one came over.
4) I just didn't want a bunch of people asking about how I was doing.
At first I was a little bit concerned about how I was going to do being away from my family and not sleeping at home for a whole month. I knew I'd be fine taking care of the cute little dog I was taking care of (he was a small little white sweetheart).
It did take me a few days to figure out a few things, like the dog would let me sleep more than 4 hours if I gave him the blue blanket. That was marvelous to get more than 4 hours of sleep after a week.
The thing was, as the month went on. I found myself adjusting to being by myself very well. I mean, it's not like I was actually living on my own. I didn't have to pay bills at all, I bought my own food but that was about it for the expenses I had to take care of. I missed my folks, but at the same time, I think I've proved to myself that I've reached a point where I could actually live on my own if I had the means or need.
Sometimes the house did feel a little bit large for just me. A few times I did get a bit lonely, but I had friends that I could call or chat online with that made things a lot easier. Plus, I had Parade rehearsals, work, school, and not one but TWO college auditions that I went on during my time at the house.
I did go home to visit from time to time, and my puppy was adamant about sniffing me and snuffling in protest that I was around another dog so much. He also gave me the dreaded puppy eyes every time I left to go back to the other dog.
Needless to say, my puppy has been very happy to have me home.
So overall, what did I learn about myself and how did I grow in a month? Well, let's go over a short list.
1) I can live on my own and I feel okay about moving into a dorm for college (two TOTALLY different things linked by the idea of living outside of my house).
2) My introverted self likes having a space to myself (but I knew that ((mostly)) already).
3) I dyed my hair all by myself! Usually I have my mom help because she's really good at the whole "home dye" process, but I proved to myself that I can dye my hair and not make a huge mess out of everything.
4) I can cook! I can't really bake that well (yet) so I decided that I would try cooking, and I'm actually a decent cook, thank goodness.
5) After auditioning for Bristol, no audition has come to even been half as scary. Even auditioning for Roosevelt wasn't half as scary. :-P
6) When I had more room to put my stuff, I was a much better housekeeper. I also do not need as much stuff as I have and am working on downsizing my possessions to the things that really matter to me (like books, never giving up my library).
7) I grew a lot in my spiritual life. I can't really put it any more simply or elaborate any more (because even a step of growth in spiritual life could take a book to explain).
8) Made new friends, and grew in my current friendships.
9) Missed a lot of people a lot. I am really looking forward to the coming Bristol season and seeing everyone SOONER THAN JUNE...Now that Parade is over and I am not house sitting any more I'm going to try and remedy some of that problem of not seeing people in general.
That month was like a whole season in my life. That nine item list doesn't cover half of the stuff that I figured out for myself or just grew into over a month. I am very grateful that I was able to have that experience of living on my own (tehee, Les Mis!). I think that it was during the time I was house sitting that I have somewhat owned up to the fact that I am a young woman, not a girl anymore. I'm still less than 6 months into being twenty and I often play younger characters, but by living on my own I've noticed the differences in my character and how I handle things. Even last year I wouldn't have been able to say that I am a young woman. Yeah, I am still *little* compared to a lot of my friends. I'm not going to negate that fact. I'm also not saying that I've got everything figured out and I'm going to be totally prepared for when I actually live on my own, because I know that would not be true. Last month was simply a time where I was able to prove to myself that I can do that one day and I will be fine.
So now, I'm back on my blog (sorry about the hiatus for anyone who really cares, it was needed). I'm thinking about what I want to do next for some of my posts and I'm sure there shall be another post soon about any changes or expansions for what I write about.
~Astonishing
Ready to hear a not-so-secret secret? You sure? All right, well, I'll tell you.
I house sat for a month in February!
Seriously, that's the secret. I actually didn't advertise this particular experience for several reasons.
1) It was safer to not advertise that I was a young woman living by myself in a friend's house for a month.
2) It was kind of nice to have a place where I could just hide away and I wanted to see if I could live on my own without making a big fuss about the whole thing.
3) I did not plan on having any parties or mass amounts of friends over. Actually, BestieBomba came over twice, and some friends picked me up for a handful of events, but other than that no one came over.
4) I just didn't want a bunch of people asking about how I was doing.
At first I was a little bit concerned about how I was going to do being away from my family and not sleeping at home for a whole month. I knew I'd be fine taking care of the cute little dog I was taking care of (he was a small little white sweetheart).
It did take me a few days to figure out a few things, like the dog would let me sleep more than 4 hours if I gave him the blue blanket. That was marvelous to get more than 4 hours of sleep after a week.
The thing was, as the month went on. I found myself adjusting to being by myself very well. I mean, it's not like I was actually living on my own. I didn't have to pay bills at all, I bought my own food but that was about it for the expenses I had to take care of. I missed my folks, but at the same time, I think I've proved to myself that I've reached a point where I could actually live on my own if I had the means or need.
Sometimes the house did feel a little bit large for just me. A few times I did get a bit lonely, but I had friends that I could call or chat online with that made things a lot easier. Plus, I had Parade rehearsals, work, school, and not one but TWO college auditions that I went on during my time at the house.
I did go home to visit from time to time, and my puppy was adamant about sniffing me and snuffling in protest that I was around another dog so much. He also gave me the dreaded puppy eyes every time I left to go back to the other dog.
Needless to say, my puppy has been very happy to have me home.
So overall, what did I learn about myself and how did I grow in a month? Well, let's go over a short list.
1) I can live on my own and I feel okay about moving into a dorm for college (two TOTALLY different things linked by the idea of living outside of my house).
2) My introverted self likes having a space to myself (but I knew that ((mostly)) already).
3) I dyed my hair all by myself! Usually I have my mom help because she's really good at the whole "home dye" process, but I proved to myself that I can dye my hair and not make a huge mess out of everything.
4) I can cook! I can't really bake that well (yet) so I decided that I would try cooking, and I'm actually a decent cook, thank goodness.
5) After auditioning for Bristol, no audition has come to even been half as scary. Even auditioning for Roosevelt wasn't half as scary. :-P
6) When I had more room to put my stuff, I was a much better housekeeper. I also do not need as much stuff as I have and am working on downsizing my possessions to the things that really matter to me (like books, never giving up my library).
7) I grew a lot in my spiritual life. I can't really put it any more simply or elaborate any more (because even a step of growth in spiritual life could take a book to explain).
8) Made new friends, and grew in my current friendships.
9) Missed a lot of people a lot. I am really looking forward to the coming Bristol season and seeing everyone SOONER THAN JUNE...Now that Parade is over and I am not house sitting any more I'm going to try and remedy some of that problem of not seeing people in general.
That month was like a whole season in my life. That nine item list doesn't cover half of the stuff that I figured out for myself or just grew into over a month. I am very grateful that I was able to have that experience of living on my own (tehee, Les Mis!). I think that it was during the time I was house sitting that I have somewhat owned up to the fact that I am a young woman, not a girl anymore. I'm still less than 6 months into being twenty and I often play younger characters, but by living on my own I've noticed the differences in my character and how I handle things. Even last year I wouldn't have been able to say that I am a young woman. Yeah, I am still *little* compared to a lot of my friends. I'm not going to negate that fact. I'm also not saying that I've got everything figured out and I'm going to be totally prepared for when I actually live on my own, because I know that would not be true. Last month was simply a time where I was able to prove to myself that I can do that one day and I will be fine.
So now, I'm back on my blog (sorry about the hiatus for anyone who really cares, it was needed). I'm thinking about what I want to do next for some of my posts and I'm sure there shall be another post soon about any changes or expansions for what I write about.
~Astonishing
Monday, March 25, 2013
Old Red Hills of Home
For a while I'd write half of a post, then circumstances would pop up and say "haha- you're not going to finish this right now" and then I'd save a half finished post, and forget about my blog for another week and a half.
However, this time I know that I want to finish this post before I do anything else.
When I auditioned for Parade, I had little idea of what the show was about. I listened to the soundtrack once or twice before auditions, but with the stress of auditioning, I listened only for the parts that I could possibly be called back for.
I didn't get a call back, and I got ensemble, and that was okay. Right from the start I was okay with being ensemble. After all, this was my first stage show outside of the theater group I performed in while growing up. I was just happy that I made the cut into a cast of 36 people.
I only knew a handful of people in the cast, and the first few rehearsals felt awkward because many of the cast member knew each other already and I was sure I was intruding on already developed social circles and inside jokes. As time went on though, I found myself developing inside jokes and being included. Everyone in the cast is so kind and wonderful. I've been blessed to spend time among such talented people.
I think a show like Parade, which deals with heavy material and a lot hatred on the part of the characters, needs a cast who really care about each other offstage as much as on. I had a very hard time coming to terms with the character I was playing. I was playing an anti-Semitic southern teenager who wanted an innocent man to die. Except, as time went on through the show, I realized that although that was one look at the character I was playing, Bettie-Jean had more to her than that.
Bettie-Jean is a sixteen year old girl from Gerogia, proud of her state and her heritage. She loves her family and loves her friends as if they were her family. She likes teasing and flirting with the boy she has a crush on who works at the police station. When her best friend, Mary, dies, the only information Bettie Jean has to make sense of the situation are the newspapers that paint a picture of a northern Jewish man who came into Atlanta with the intent of killing Mary. So, in Bettie-Jean's mind, it's almost like another Civil War. The north is trying to take over and abuse the south again, and this time, she swears that they won't get away with it. In the end, Bettie-Jean just wants the nightmare of all of the events surrounding Mary's death to be over so that her family and friends can have some peace. The only way for it to be over is for Leo Frank to hang.
I think it's safe to say that I learned a lot about motive and objectives and perspectives this show. It took me more than half the show to figure Bettie Jean out and understand where she was coming from. There's a lot of pain for each character in this show. There are a lot of flaws in each character. That's part of what makes the show so amazing. Even with all of the struggles I had in the beginning with the show, I wouldn't trade this experience for the world. I've had the best re-introduction to stage performance and I don't think I could have chosen a better show or cast. I've made some amazing, hysterical, mind-blowingly talented friends who I hope to stay in touch with.
So this is my "thank you" note to the whole cast. Thank you all for making me apart of the Parade cast and family. Thank you all for this experience. I love you all and will miss seeing your faces every week. Thank you- Kevin, for casting me in this show. It's been an honor to work under your direction.
I will miss all of you. I will miss the pre-show hilarity in the make-up room while curling my hair (and other people's hair). I will miss the heart to heart conversations I've had with a few of you, and the general conversations I always seemed to stumble in on (at the WRONG times). I will miss the laughter and the quips and the blunders backstage. I will miss the warm ups and looking like an Easter egg. I will miss my wig for the Governor's Ball. I'll just simply miss everything.
I know I'll be singing "Old Red Hills of Home" for weeks to come. I'll probably have a few tears this week too when it hits me that I won't be coming back to perform this show again. However, I think it's time to find the next adventure. We closed on a fantastic note, and it's better to leave this particular production that way.
Trying to figure out a way to end this post isn't working, so I'm just going to have to stop writing before I start crying.
However, this time I know that I want to finish this post before I do anything else.
When I auditioned for Parade, I had little idea of what the show was about. I listened to the soundtrack once or twice before auditions, but with the stress of auditioning, I listened only for the parts that I could possibly be called back for.
I didn't get a call back, and I got ensemble, and that was okay. Right from the start I was okay with being ensemble. After all, this was my first stage show outside of the theater group I performed in while growing up. I was just happy that I made the cut into a cast of 36 people.
I only knew a handful of people in the cast, and the first few rehearsals felt awkward because many of the cast member knew each other already and I was sure I was intruding on already developed social circles and inside jokes. As time went on though, I found myself developing inside jokes and being included. Everyone in the cast is so kind and wonderful. I've been blessed to spend time among such talented people.
I think a show like Parade, which deals with heavy material and a lot hatred on the part of the characters, needs a cast who really care about each other offstage as much as on. I had a very hard time coming to terms with the character I was playing. I was playing an anti-Semitic southern teenager who wanted an innocent man to die. Except, as time went on through the show, I realized that although that was one look at the character I was playing, Bettie-Jean had more to her than that.
Bettie-Jean is a sixteen year old girl from Gerogia, proud of her state and her heritage. She loves her family and loves her friends as if they were her family. She likes teasing and flirting with the boy she has a crush on who works at the police station. When her best friend, Mary, dies, the only information Bettie Jean has to make sense of the situation are the newspapers that paint a picture of a northern Jewish man who came into Atlanta with the intent of killing Mary. So, in Bettie-Jean's mind, it's almost like another Civil War. The north is trying to take over and abuse the south again, and this time, she swears that they won't get away with it. In the end, Bettie-Jean just wants the nightmare of all of the events surrounding Mary's death to be over so that her family and friends can have some peace. The only way for it to be over is for Leo Frank to hang.
I think it's safe to say that I learned a lot about motive and objectives and perspectives this show. It took me more than half the show to figure Bettie Jean out and understand where she was coming from. There's a lot of pain for each character in this show. There are a lot of flaws in each character. That's part of what makes the show so amazing. Even with all of the struggles I had in the beginning with the show, I wouldn't trade this experience for the world. I've had the best re-introduction to stage performance and I don't think I could have chosen a better show or cast. I've made some amazing, hysterical, mind-blowingly talented friends who I hope to stay in touch with.
So this is my "thank you" note to the whole cast. Thank you all for making me apart of the Parade cast and family. Thank you all for this experience. I love you all and will miss seeing your faces every week. Thank you- Kevin, for casting me in this show. It's been an honor to work under your direction.
I will miss all of you. I will miss the pre-show hilarity in the make-up room while curling my hair (and other people's hair). I will miss the heart to heart conversations I've had with a few of you, and the general conversations I always seemed to stumble in on (at the WRONG times). I will miss the laughter and the quips and the blunders backstage. I will miss the warm ups and looking like an Easter egg. I will miss my wig for the Governor's Ball. I'll just simply miss everything.
I know I'll be singing "Old Red Hills of Home" for weeks to come. I'll probably have a few tears this week too when it hits me that I won't be coming back to perform this show again. However, I think it's time to find the next adventure. We closed on a fantastic note, and it's better to leave this particular production that way.
Trying to figure out a way to end this post isn't working, so I'm just going to have to stop writing before I start crying.
Tuesday, February 5, 2013
Hungry Hungry Hippos.
Every time I try and think of something to post, and sit down to write, something gets in my way! Or the topic is something I don't/can't write about in the internet, because the internet is FOREVER!!! Plus, I don't need to post every single little thing about my life online. I've been *trying* (with varying degrees of success) to cut back on what I post on Facebook. No one needs to see the amazing dinner I just made that is growing cold as I take a photograph of it and spend the next 5 minutes trying to upload to my profile.
However, a written post about my discoveries as I forge ahead into the world of making my own food is another matter entirely! Cooking is a life skill after all and I'd like to become a good cook.
So last night Best-Friend-Bombalurina came over and we cooked *sort of* Asian food. Or more like we made rice and vegetables and a sauce from the Mongolian Beef recipe off of the PF Chang's website (it's really yummy!). I also discovered that I bought way too much ginger (if it is possible to have too much ginger), so there shall be lots of ginger tea later. I also have an abundance of Green Onions, Garlic, and Eggs. No, eggs were NOT in the recipe, but I think combining the eggs with the garlic and onions could make a very good breakfast. Also could make for very smelly breath...let's check how much toothpaste I've got in stock right now.
Fact- I prefer savory flavors over sweet. Ice cream is nice, but I'll take a pickle over ice cream any day. I even ate pickles and ice cream together when I was really little. Yes, I know that's pregnant food. Didn't say that I still ate pickles and ice cream together...well...now that I think about it, might have to take a trip down memory lane...or not. Where's a York patty?
So things that I now can say I can cook-
Frozen Chicken in a toaster oven. We're going to branch out into fancy chicken soon.
Rice
Spaghetti
Eggs (a few different ways)
Mongolian Beef sauce
Normal non-fancy vegetables. In other words, I can boil/bake/steam most things.
Quesodillas, cooked properly, in a pan with a little bit of butter and taco seasoning for some kick.
Various toasted sandwiches, if that counts.
I know the list is actually longer than this, but considering that most cooking I've done has been with pre-prepared food that comes from the frozen isle of a store, I'm very glad that I can actually cook something from scratch. I wish I knew how to cook more things.
Therefore- over the next month I'm going to try and learn a few (relatively simple) recipes, and make up a lot of my own based on "What do I have in the fridge that I think will taste delicious when put together?"
Why you ask? Because it has occurred to me that I'm going to probably live on my own at some point in my life and I want to be able to cook yummy things and not just pop Trader Joe's orange chicken (although I do LOVE their orange chicken) into the oven every night and call it homemade cooking. Besides, cooking is fun. Maybe I'll try making my mom's honey-mustard curry chicken.
I'm now going to go onto pinterest and make a ridiculous amount of pins to my pretty much non-existent cooking board.
Whoever came up with pinterest is evil and wants to take over the world by making people procrastinate while looking at pretty shiny objects. It's about as time consuming as browsing Etsy or (in my case) a half price bookstore.
Bookstore you say? Cookbook you say? hmmmm.....
Until next time!
However, a written post about my discoveries as I forge ahead into the world of making my own food is another matter entirely! Cooking is a life skill after all and I'd like to become a good cook.
So last night Best-Friend-Bombalurina came over and we cooked *sort of* Asian food. Or more like we made rice and vegetables and a sauce from the Mongolian Beef recipe off of the PF Chang's website (it's really yummy!). I also discovered that I bought way too much ginger (if it is possible to have too much ginger), so there shall be lots of ginger tea later. I also have an abundance of Green Onions, Garlic, and Eggs. No, eggs were NOT in the recipe, but I think combining the eggs with the garlic and onions could make a very good breakfast. Also could make for very smelly breath...let's check how much toothpaste I've got in stock right now.
Fact- I prefer savory flavors over sweet. Ice cream is nice, but I'll take a pickle over ice cream any day. I even ate pickles and ice cream together when I was really little. Yes, I know that's pregnant food. Didn't say that I still ate pickles and ice cream together...well...now that I think about it, might have to take a trip down memory lane...or not. Where's a York patty?
So things that I now can say I can cook-
Frozen Chicken in a toaster oven. We're going to branch out into fancy chicken soon.
Rice
Spaghetti
Eggs (a few different ways)
Mongolian Beef sauce
Normal non-fancy vegetables. In other words, I can boil/bake/steam most things.
Quesodillas, cooked properly, in a pan with a little bit of butter and taco seasoning for some kick.
Various toasted sandwiches, if that counts.
I know the list is actually longer than this, but considering that most cooking I've done has been with pre-prepared food that comes from the frozen isle of a store, I'm very glad that I can actually cook something from scratch. I wish I knew how to cook more things.
Therefore- over the next month I'm going to try and learn a few (relatively simple) recipes, and make up a lot of my own based on "What do I have in the fridge that I think will taste delicious when put together?"
Why you ask? Because it has occurred to me that I'm going to probably live on my own at some point in my life and I want to be able to cook yummy things and not just pop Trader Joe's orange chicken (although I do LOVE their orange chicken) into the oven every night and call it homemade cooking. Besides, cooking is fun. Maybe I'll try making my mom's honey-mustard curry chicken.
I'm now going to go onto pinterest and make a ridiculous amount of pins to my pretty much non-existent cooking board.
Whoever came up with pinterest is evil and wants to take over the world by making people procrastinate while looking at pretty shiny objects. It's about as time consuming as browsing Etsy or (in my case) a half price bookstore.
Bookstore you say? Cookbook you say? hmmmm.....
Until next time!
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