Tuesday, July 3, 2012

The Debate in my Head

Goes something like this:

I want to dance.
I want to work at a museum.
I want to be a writer. 
I want to be a Library Scientist.
Science? Are you out of your MIND? You HATE Science.
NO I don't, I just don't like how it was taught in high school.
Weren't you homeschooled?
Yes.....and your point is?


The more I work with the people at BRF, the more I am learning, the hungrier I get to learn more. I want to study history! I want to learn about people and their lives and what was important to them! I want to work in a place where I can see history and possibly even touch it! Museums work that way right?

The more I write, the more I want to tell stories. I want to inspire people with my books! I'm a freaking Jo March in almost every way!

Dance has lately taken more of a back seat in my life. Not intentionally, but I have to think about what seriously perusing a career in dance means. It would mean performing, but it would also mean a lot of auditioning and rejection and training and possibly a very lonely life.
Then again I could be totally off my rocker. I could have a very friend filled life if I danced. It also means I might not be able to do Ren Faire every year.


Cycle and Repeat until my head spins and I start crying because I don't know what to do. Nothing I want to do pays, so I'm fine with that part of my life. I always knew that the things I wanted to do are not money-makers, but they are amazing jobs in their own ways.

Please, pray for me as I think about my choices. This could mean going in a very different direction than I've thought about all year. I've been discovering so many passions that I have and I'm trying to figure out if I will have to choose between them. Honestly, the biggest questions are about museum work/history , and dance vs other types of performance.

In other news, my life is really good right now. I'm having the best summer of my life. I've got some little bumps along the road but I'm working through them. I just really need God working in my life to give me direction and I need Him to show me the door he wants me to walk through.


1 comment:

  1. Love,
    I'm sorry you're getting stressed out, I know that's no fun. I actually have had about three conversations with different people about this kind of decision in the last two weeks and wanted to share what I got out of those conversations.

    STOP STRESSING! I know that's easier said then done, but honestly, if you look back on your life every choice you have made has made you who you are. So your future choices, whatever they may be, will be worthwhile simply because they will continue to grow and stretch you.
    Look at it this way, God has given you these passions. God did, and He is the master plan maker. Ergo, if you have a passion, He placed it in you for a purpose, so at some point in your life you will have the opportunity to use it, every single one of them. And there won't just be one opportunity and that's it, God is not a God of one chance, oh no, you blew it, but a loving God of a million chances. So the question is not what do you want to do with the rest of your life, but what do you want most right now?

    I know all this affects your college choices and finances and that piles on the stress of making the "right choice" but I promise you, God will use and provide for whatever you chose because He put these desires in your heart in the first place.
    So what makes you thrive most right now?
    What makes you excited to get out of bed in the morning and the days you feel like crap?

    You know time is the most precious thing we have, so don't waste any more of it searching for the "right direction", but use it to start down a path and see where it leads you. You may get lost in the woods, but that's where the best adventures happen.

    Praying for ya!