Tuesday, August 28, 2012


"For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."
Matthew 11:30

This summer my faith has been challenged in ways I didn't think it would be. No one has outright challenged me as to why I believe what I believe, but questions have been coming up in my head every now and then and I actually have to think about "Why wouldn't I go along with that?" or "Is this what I really believe?"

Unfortunately, some of these things I don't know the answers too. I just don't know what I think about some maters when it comes to the world around me. I don't think this is a bad thing either. I like things that make me think and grow and form my own opinion.
Something that I want to strive for is basing my opinions and beliefs on what I have discovered and researched and come to believe, rather than just relying on what I've been taught all my life.

Let me clarify that I am NOT saying that what I've been taught is wrong. A lot of what I've been taught growing up I believe to be right, but I've come to that decision based on researching the answers for myself and "double checking." What can I say, I like to learn and research. I want to know the reasoning behind why I believe what I believe.

"So be wise as serpents and innocent as doves." Matthew 10:16

Since I am firm in a few things about my faith, I know I cannot bend the few principles I am firm on. If I bend them, what is holding me up? What standards can I have if I don't uphold the few things I am certain of now?
Sometimes it's really hard and I don't want to say "no." I've had to say no and pull back a couple times. More than a few times I've thought about bending. You can only bend so far until you break.

One thing I do know, is that I am firm in the essentials of my faith. I believe that Christianity is about love. Ultimately that's what my faith is all about. I am a failing human loved by a perfect God who I love as my Abba-Father. I will make mistakes and screw up (a lot) and He will still love me and forgive me.

I am really nervous about posting this. I've never posted anything so blatant about my faith before. 

If anything, this summer has taught me that I will be okay in the world and still maintain my faith. I might be going through an upward climb, but it's going to be okay. The first week of college was much easier than last year, and I already know I'm going to grow in many ways.
Last year was trusting that God would get me through each day. Now I've been able to get through that hard year and I know I will be provided for. This year is going to be new challenges and I'm looking forward to finding out what my Abba-Father and I will be working on this year. 

Hopefully I will be posting again soon on my Astonishing blog. I know I've been really heavy on the Anne blog this summer, but that blog has been there to chronicle my summer at Faire, and for the most part that's what I've been doing other than working (new job as Barista).
We have one weekend left for the Faire and I hope that if you haven't gone yet that you will come this weekend! It would mean a lot to me. I love the people that I am working with and they are the kindest most genuine people on earth. Look on my Anne blog for the last few posts I will be writing, including what will happen with my Anne blog once Faire is over, which I still need to think through.

Thank you for letting me be vulnerable through my writing, even if I'm hiding behind the mask of the internet.

Friday, August 3, 2012


I've been having a lot of fatigue lately. So this past Thursday I manned up and went to see a doctor. Not the Doctor, my friend, a real doc (sorry Doctor, you're not a doc yet). I do not like going to the doctor. Specialist type doctors like dermatologists, podiatrists, and other such practitioners I have no problem with. Sign me up for a routine physical check up and I run in the opposite direction. My mom had to coax me into agreeing to the appointment.

After getting asked a lot of questions about my diet and weekly activities, the doctor starts talking about juicing green stuff. Green stuff= cilantro, parsley, lettuce, spinach, etc. I guess we're going to try and get my system more alkaline and less acidic since the doc thinks my meds are running havoc with my system.
I was tired before I started taking amoxicillin. I was on DORYX when I started having the fatigue. I'd actually been taking the DORYX for 6-7 months when I started noticing my fatigue. Fatigue is not in the main listed side effects of amoxicillin or DORYX. Of course, I could be completely wrong, but I've only been taking amoxicillin for about a month. My face is looking tons better, so I don't want to go off the drug right now.

However, I have no problem with trying to add more nutrition to my diet. I also have no issue with taking probiotics and fish oil to try and help me feel better. Goodness knows I'd like to not be tired all the time.

I did not know that the juicing of the green stuff would taste so strongly of...well...green stuff. Today I made a concoction of lettuce, spinach, cilantro, a few carrots, and some lemon juice.
Next time I will remember to only add a LITTLE cilantro and not three freaking stalks of it! Other than the overwhelming taste of cilantro (I do like cilantro, I've just never eaten it by itself and so am unaccustomed to the flavor) the juice isn't that bad. Just something to get used to drinking.

Also fund out that when they take your blood at the doc's office, they tell you "This will only pinch for a second." They lie. It pinched the whole time the nurse took blood from my arm, and for a good few minutes afterwards. I have a high pain tolerance, but I appreciate when people tell me straight up how long it will hurt/pinch/whatever. I have a lovely bruise on my arm and hopefully when they test my blood everything will be a-ok and the juice will even out my energy and we'll be right as rain!

If you'll excuse me, I have to go gag down another quarter glass of green stuff.