College Application Update.

At first I was going to apply to four schools.
Anderson, Eastern University, Hope, and PBA.

Then I found out that I would have to not only be accepted into Anderson's normal college before I could audition for the dance program, I would have to be accepted into the Arts and Sciences program as well. Needless to say, Anderson was off the list. It was last on my list anyway and that little piece of news sealed the deal.
Next, I start the application process for Eastern, Hope, and PBA. Hope has a scholarship program that I would have to audition for, but I don't have to audition to be in the dance program there.
The more I fill out things for the colleges, the more I feel drawn towards Hope and PBA...with Eastern on the side. Ergo- I have decided (for now) to put Eastern on the shelf. I'm not going to rule it out, but right now I don't feel like it's the place for me to go unless I visit the other two colleges and think "No way jose!"
Then yesterday I come home from community college and my mom tells me she wants to talk to me. Turns out since I will be a transferring freshman I cannot get that scholarship to Hope. My first reaction- I want to cry. I hate this whole application process, I'm worried sick that I won't be accepted and that I'll have to  rethink all of my options.
After my brain freaks out and my hearing returns so I can listen to what my mother is telling me, I find out that by being a transfer student with transferring credits I will save more money than if I got the scholarship.
With the scholarship I'd save about $10,000 total (over the four years). With my transferring credits I'm saving about $12-13,000. Crisis averted and I'm still applying to Hope.

So now it's down to one audition and two applications to finish. Now I do not need to take a lot of time off from work to go visit colleges and I have more time to prepare my REN FAIRE AUDITION!!!!
Sort of super excited? Sort of super nervous? Sort of waiting for this for YEARS! I still need to schedule my audition...oops. Putting that on the to-do list.
And I have more time to choreograph that evil piece of music otherwise known as....Clair De Lune....it's making me loony (haha- two cups of coffee today!). Oh well, I said I would choreograph the piece and dance it for a friend's wedding, and I might as well get on it. I've got about 2 months until the wedding...but 2 months can go quite fast.

And now for the amusement and disgust of my readers (I found out that I have more than 4 readers!!! I have 5!!!), a story from English 102.
Scene: It's after class and I'm picking up my things so I can vamoose. Our teacher has assigned us to pick 3 authors as possibilities for our literary research paper, and we need to write a persuasive paper on an issue that we feel strongly about (ex. the legalization of marijuana, immigration, occupy wall street, etc). These are separate papers due at different times. The teacher has explained BOTH assignments several times during the course of the class.
As I'm getting ready to leave, a girl behind me asks "So why do we need to pick three authors for a persuasive paper?"
me: "We don't. We do a persuasive paper on an issue we feel strongly about."
girl: "Then why do we need to hand it in on tuesday?"
me: "We hand in our choice of authors on tuesday."
girl: "Then why are we picking authors if we're doing the persuasive paper on an issue?"
me: "We're picking authors for a research paper."
girl: "So we're not doing a persuasive paper?"
me: "We are doing a persuasive paper." (I'm working really hard to keep a straight face and not look at her like she's nuts) "We're also doing a research paper on an author later in the semester."
girl: "When did that happen?" (We found this out the second day of class...)
me: "The teacher talked about it in class."
girl: "Oh..."
This is where I let the friend of the girl take over and explain things. Really....it doesn't take that much to understand the assignments (our teacher emails them to us too). You're taking this class for a reason, at least pay attention long enough to figure out the assignments- correctly. My English teacher is very straightforward and good at explaining things. She explained both assignments several times.
This is also the girl who argued with my teacher about how she wasn't passing a note during class....let me roll my eyes. If you're passing a piece of paper with writing on it during class- it's a note. Even if it's a phone number or email for important reasons, it's a note. Even if it's a drawing of a cute little bunny, it's a note.

It was almost entertaining, as well as highly irritating.

Dancing with Melinda

Since late November I've had a substitute teacher in my jazz dance class on Wednesday nights.
The first time I took class, I thought she might be a little eccentric, and I would definitely need to step up my game in class. Not that my regular teacher wasn't challenging me in his own way- Melinda just has a completely different style.

I've found that in the past two and a half months that I've grown leaps and bounds (no pun intended) as a dancer because of Melinda's teaching. She fun and quirky and every time I walked into class I knew I'd be working my butt off and having the time of my life.
Melinda makes you want to do well. She's got this catchphrase of adding the words "Fair enough?" at the end of most sentences. At first I thought it was a little odd, but it quickly grew on me and I'll probably be mimicking her sometimes.

It's because of Melinda that I'm applying to the school I'll be auditioning for on Feb 6. I told her about my audition and she gave me a huge hug and told me that she was sure I'm going to make it. Coming from someone as talented and experienced in dance as she is (She's studied in Israel, London, Paris- to name a few places), it meant a lot.

Because of Melinda's instruction I've learned:
Just to go for it, and go for it with joy.
My mind knows the steps, my body has to feel through the music.
I can keep up better than I thought.

So this is my very badly written tribute to a teacher that I hope to never forget. If I ever get a chance to study under Melinda, or dance in a show choreographed by her, I will leap (ok- pun intended) at the chance. In the very short time I've been able to study under her, she has made a difference in my dancing attitude and ability.

Way to many things happening.

Quick update because my life is crazy right now.

School- started again last week. Love my professors- they're funny and keep me interested and make me want to pay attention and do well in my classes. Now I just need to get my textbooks.

Other Colleges- Applying to 3, Auditioning for 3 (hopefully). I have two weeks until the first audition. I'm a little nervous. A lot of things need to get done and life is only getting busier. I still need to write a paper for my first audition.

Dance- same as ever, going really well.

Auditions- I'm auditioning for a Ren Faire!!! I need to choreograph a dance and memorize a monologue.

Writing- Wish I had time for it! I really do! :( Maybe after auditions?

I also need to choreograph a dance that I will be performing at a friend's wedding. I'll be dancing to Clair De Lune, which is a beautiful song, but has no counts to choreograph to!!!! ARG ARG ARG!!!

So many things are happening, mostly good things actually. I'm in a better place than I have been of late. I'm just super busy and barely have enough time for everything that I need to get done. So blog posts might be farther apart right now.  

Back to insanity! 3 cups of coffee today!

So I guess my winter break is this week? Seriously, haven't worked too much (compared to the insanity of Christmas), school doesn't start until next week, and dance picks up again tonight!

Ok, so I guess my "break" was last week. It's cool though, I'm actually looking forward to going back to school on the 17th. It's going to be crazy busy for me Tuesday-Wednesday-Thursdays. Actually, Monday nights-Tues-Wed-Thursdays because that's when my classes "start" during the week. Wednesdays are only because I go downtown for dance so I'm out of my house from 3-11pm. Yes I'm crazy, big whoop! What else is new?

It's been nice having a little bit of breathing space, but now I need to get cracking on college applications. I'm already re-evaluating the sense in applying to one college because:
1. It's the last one on my list that I'd want to go to.
2. I can't get many scholarships there, as far as I know.
3. I need to be fully accepted BEFORE I can audition for the dance program. This means applying and being accepted to the college, then getting accepted (after ANOTHER application) into the Arts program. Oy Vey.

I'm apply to 3 other schools too, so if this one happens to be cut out....I don't really want to go to Indiana anyway, I've never found it a very exciting place to be (no offense to people who live there). All the other school have great towns around them with a LOT of stuff to be apart of. Lots of History, Arts, Culture. Time to talk to the folks about not applying there I guess....save money on not visiting one more school.

Anyway, that's a short update on what's been going on (in other words: not much). Life's going to pick up very fast and hopefully it will give me something EXCITING to write about!

For now- I have to get ready for work and then pack a bag for dance class tonight!

Later Y'all!

2011- The roller coaster

Now for the traditional reflection on my past year. Half of which I won't really write about. Here we go!

This year has been a whirlwind of lessons and discoveries, to say the least. Some things I learned I saw coming a mile away before they happened, and I could only brace myself for impact. Some things I was totally surprised by. Other things have been tapping me on the shoulder constantly saying "my turn."
This past year I've learned the acute feelings of loss, and joy, and the feeling of leaning on God just to get me through the day hour by hour. This past year I've fought a lot of the fears and "demons" inside of me. I've gotten through phobias, while others have been (unfortunately) cultivated and established as new things to eradicate in this new year. I'm following my dreams and so far I love it! It's hard on a day to day basis, but I'll work though this. I'm a little too stubborn to just take hardships lying down, and I can't exactly run away from myself forever.

If I could have done anything better this year- it would have been a more dedicated commitment to growing closer to God. I've probably prayed more this year, but I'm not sure if I've learned quite the right way to pray, or seek out God's wisdom. I most definitely haven't followed through in my Bible reading like I've wanted too. I had a pretty bad lapse of that in November and through most of December. It wasn't because I didn't feel like I needed God either. Bad lapse over the summer too.
This past summer (as many of you know) God made it clear that I need to pursue dancing. Only a few weeks ago (or maybe just one week- I can't tell time accurately anymore!) I got another message from Him through a friend, and that message completely shook me.

He told me He loved me.
"I love you, I love you, I love you."
"I miss you."

Two very powerful things to hear from my Lord, Father, God. Even more powerful than hearing that dance will haunt me my entire life, or that I need to look inside my heart to find the answer to what I should do with dance. I cried when He told me He loved me, because He knows just how much I struggle with the concept of love and being loved. Just the idea that He could love any bit of me is astounding. I don't understand it at all. I could only say "I'm sorry."
In return He told me, "I know." Not just the regular "Yeah, I get what you mean" type of I know. He knows. He knows me inside out and knows how much I want to return to him. So now I just have to get past myself and get back to my Father's arms.
My God loves me. It's really kind of funny because last June I said a prayer saying "God, take control of my love life. I've struggled with matters of affection and the heart all my life, I'm giving this totally over to you."
Funny things happen when you do stuff like that. Your world is turned upside down. It wasn't easy at all for me, but I know that I had to close a chapter of my life to open another. Now, I hear from God that He loves me. He loves me!
One of my goals for this year is to let God woo me. I want God to teach me and mold me into the woman He wants me to be. I want to grow closer and become more and more fearless for Him. I want to focus on the tasks he has for me right now instead of dreaming too far ahead of getting caught up in the past. I want God to take me through my fears and destroy them. They shouldn't have any power over me and I'm tired of living with them!

Last year I wrote a few reasonable resolutions. With the exception of one resolution, finishing the rough draft of my now much more massive story, I think I managed to keep to all of them in one way or another.
The one thing that will always be consistent in my resolutions is this "Grow closer to God." How that happens throughout the years I leave up to Him and whatever happens.

And maybe that rough draft will get done this year...we'll see.