Monday, July 30, 2012

Halfway Through Summer

It's been an eventful time of late...

Ren Faire is most amazing place in the world. Now onto the rest of my life.

I changed jobs. I'm not working in a shop anymore. I'm a barista now at Vero and just had my first day of practical training. I worked a lot on the register and made a lot of mistakes but my coworkers said that I was doing really well for my first day. We serve other things besides just coffee, so I'm learning how to serve gelato and make fried dough puffs. It was a slightly difficult first day and I felt like I failed a lot, but as someone (or many people) have said to me, "If you're not failing, you're not trying hard enough." I guess I'm trying really hard because that register hates me. I shall not let it conquer me! I shall prevail and win it's affection!

I'm still making a lot of reconsiderations about which direction to go in. Right now I'm still dancing, but I want to explore my writing, my passion for history, and my passion for general performance. I'll probably take a history and a creative writing class this fall as part of my college studies. Being in Ren Faire has made me take a step back and really look at the realistic aspect of some of my career ideas.

There's been a recent learning curve on "How do I react to certain things?" I recently found out that if I'm boxed in and "attacked" without a determinable exit- I'll turn into River Tam and possibly hurt somebody. That was a scary thing to realize. I think I scared myself more than anything. Now I get to learn how to deal with that and make sure that I take care of myself and the people around me so that I don't have another River Tam "Miranda" moment.  Oh well, we live, we learn, we grow, and we work through things.

God is challenging me on a lot of things. My health hasn't been the greatest. I've gotten a lot of fatigue and I'm going to be getting a general physical on Thursday to make sure that there isn't anything wrong. Hopefully it will just be an imbalance on my vitamins and I'll take some supplements and be A-ok. It's hard to be not at my best and I just have to trust that this is only a season. Change will come, hopefully for the better. Slowly I'm turning more and more over to Him and He's brought some great things into my life. I've also had a lot of mini-lessons that haven't been too fun, but God is going to carry me through it.

Tuesday, July 3, 2012

The Debate in my Head

Goes something like this:

I want to dance.
I want to work at a museum.
I want to be a writer. 
I want to be a Library Scientist.
Science? Are you out of your MIND? You HATE Science.
NO I don't, I just don't like how it was taught in high school.
Weren't you homeschooled?
Yes.....and your point is?


The more I work with the people at BRF, the more I am learning, the hungrier I get to learn more. I want to study history! I want to learn about people and their lives and what was important to them! I want to work in a place where I can see history and possibly even touch it! Museums work that way right?

The more I write, the more I want to tell stories. I want to inspire people with my books! I'm a freaking Jo March in almost every way!

Dance has lately taken more of a back seat in my life. Not intentionally, but I have to think about what seriously perusing a career in dance means. It would mean performing, but it would also mean a lot of auditioning and rejection and training and possibly a very lonely life.
Then again I could be totally off my rocker. I could have a very friend filled life if I danced. It also means I might not be able to do Ren Faire every year.


Cycle and Repeat until my head spins and I start crying because I don't know what to do. Nothing I want to do pays, so I'm fine with that part of my life. I always knew that the things I wanted to do are not money-makers, but they are amazing jobs in their own ways.

Please, pray for me as I think about my choices. This could mean going in a very different direction than I've thought about all year. I've been discovering so many passions that I have and I'm trying to figure out if I will have to choose between them. Honestly, the biggest questions are about museum work/history , and dance vs other types of performance.

In other news, my life is really good right now. I'm having the best summer of my life. I've got some little bumps along the road but I'm working through them. I just really need God working in my life to give me direction and I need Him to show me the door he wants me to walk through.