Sunday, August 21, 2011


Astonishing isn't a word you hear very often. 

Definition of Astonishing (According to the online Merriam-Webster Dictionary):

adj \-ni-shiŋ\
Definition of ASTONISHING
: causing astonishment : surprising <an astonishing discovery>
as·ton·ish·ing·ly adverb
  1. He showed an astonishing lack of concern for others.
  2. The truck can hold an astonishing amount of stuff.
  3. She gave an astonishing performance in her first film.

First Known Use of ASTONISHING- 1593 


Antonyms: unsurprising
The word astonishing may just be a fancy way of putting "surprised," but I feel like it holds so much more than just a birthday party you weren't expecting or a friend you haven't seen in a long time and ran into at the mall. 
To me, the word Astonishing conveys a certain hitch in your breath when you realize just what is going on. Astonishing is an achivement you gain with excelence. 
Astonishment is something when people look at you and say "You've come so far!" with genuine admiration and pride in their eyes. 

This year I am leaving behind almost every comfort place I know. 
I'm starting Community College tomorrow as a part time Freshman. The first steps to getting a major in Something-I-Don't-Know-What-Yet-That's-What-Gen-Ed-Courses-At-Community-College-Are-For. I'm terrified. I started hyperventilating last night when I lay in my bed thinking about starting classes tomorrow. Thank goodness I'm memorizing the Serenity Prayer and the 23rd Psalm.

I have a job that I love. Working at Bath and Body Works. The store where almost everything smells good! At least, there are some smells that are not my particular piece of cake, but other people love! 

I'm going to leave my little dance studio in my hometown and venture into Chicago and find a studio there. Dance has always been something I love. Recently I felt called to pursue dance more seriously, so I'm going to the city. It sounds like a movie, doesn't it? 
I know it'll be tough, I know all the stories about the world of performance. Don't talk down to me and tell me that I'll never make it. I know I might not, but that doesn't mean I won't be sashaying across a room for the rest of my life. Dance will always be in my life one way or another. It's just time that I figured out where. 

My life sounds pretty exciting and promising right now, doesn't it? Well, it sounds that looks that way. My future is almost an open slate. I have the beginnings of an exciting and eventful year (or several). 
But it's almost too open ended and out of my control. I'm not a control freak- or high maintenance. Still, leaving behind almost your whole world that didn't change too much and going into a place in your life where everything is new and you don't know what's going to happen? That's stressful, and scary, and exciting. My world is tumbling around me and I can't stop the spinning. It's slipping through my fingers like grains of sand.

Stop the world- I want to get off.

So in a fit of trying to find something I could grasp onto. I dyed my hair. It was supposed to be Auburn (I love Auburn hair), but it turned out Red. Deep, beautiful, red. It's awesome, and it didn't go the way I wanted it too, though I'm not really complaining there.

I think this is enough of an introduction to who I am- before I finish this entry- I'll actually explain the purpose of this blog. 

Since my life is changing rapidly and in so many ways (so many more ways than I even wrote about here). I'm chronicling major events, posting quotes, journaling my trials and internet appropriate tribulations, drabbles, ramblings, fits of sanity, etc. 

I chose the word Astonishing, because that's what I hope to be. Much like in the musical- Little Women (I'm a Jo by the way, for all you March Girl fans out there), I wish to be Astonishing and find my way in the unexpected and unknown. In my own way- today. 

1 comment:

  1. Good first post. I totally know what you mean about school. Trust me, you are not the only one. I had many headaches, stomachaches, runny noses, and other things-which-are-not-suitable-to-talk-about-over-dinner my first...probably year of college. Of course that could have been cause I ate junk (poptarts and ramen!), but I also think it was stress. College is a big door in life so it definitely will invoke some fear/worry.

    I think this blog is a great idea for you, because unlike me who posts on his blog ~once per year, you are a diligent writer.