Monday, January 14, 2013

Pushing through

Yesterday was an "adventure" to say the least. One of such epic proportions that I'm choosing to write it out.

I started out the day with an ipod playlist of music, a set of directions from Google Maps, and a desire to see some people whom I miss very much (and still actually do). Most importantly, though not really, I had a cup of coffee for my breakfast.

Everything went fine, I was even on time, until I was supposed to find some road by the name of "Oakwood." The reason that I am naming the road is because It. Does. Not. Exist. Nope, doesn't exist at all. Maybe the road was once called Oakwood, but it's definitely not anymore.
Ever drive around for 40 minutes within 2 minutes of your destination? Yeap. That happened to me. First time that I've ever been so frustrated that I almost started crying. Getting false directions from a gas station, calling three phone numbers, and being stopped by a freight.

Lessons learned, get the number of your host and double check your directions with them. Also thinking about getting a GPS. Also- Google is a Dirty Rotten Liar.

I was able to sit among my friend's company for an hour. Reason for the gathering was a production meeting. One of my friends was working on my back and kept telling me to relax. Sad to say, I didn't actually start relaxing until it was time to go.
All of the frustration and loneliness that I had felt on my way to the meeting came rushing back, plus the fact that I had not eaten a single thing (coffee being forgotten in the midst of the getting lost). Many thanks to the dear Tea Lady who supplied me with a generous piece of lavender shortbread for my "provisions." Also thanks to Captain A, who looked up my route to  my Parade rehearsal for me.

So what do I do in my current state of emotions? I miss my turn and spend the first ten twenty minutes of my drive turning myself around. Thank goodness the directions I got at the grocery store were right.
From there I had to call a cast mate to make sure that my director knew that I was on my way, and traffic (as I labeled it) was being horrible. I also got lost AGAIN! This time it was by turning off the wrong road. Luckily within 30 seconds I'd realized my error and got myself back on track within another 5 minutes.

All of this caused me to be 30 minutes late to a rehearsal. There is nothing I despise more than being late for a rehearsal. I feel like it is irresponsible and it has always ticked me off when people came into rehearsal late. I got to be one of those people, but I found a great amount of grace from my cast mates, and most importantly my director.

I finally got to eat at 5pm when I went into work for my 6pm shift. There was enough to do for closing that I was able to focus on that work instead of being overwhelmed by my day. Also, I was able to talk to a friend who cheered me up. Sometimes lighthearted teasing about things that have no consequence are the best medicine. It reminds me that I can smile, because I think I etched a few frown lines yesterday.

The sting still is there. I was talking to a coworker on my break last night and explaining how I feel that we shouldn't stifle our emotions, but we shouldn't wallow in them either. Emotions have a time and a place and after their time and place is gone we can move on. I by no means have perfected this art. I am far from doing that. Right now I think it's more important to not give my anger and frustration too much hold. This is a work in progress. I'm not pleasant to talk to or be around when I'm this way. Many thanks to Professor Propitious for putting up with my gruff attitude over text until I began to simmer down.

So overall, what did I learn yesterday? I have awesome friends. Strangers directions can be either good or bad. I have an awesome director. Work gives you a purpose and taking our your anger with cleaning is better than taking your anger out of people. Humor in life is a must have thing. Patience is a virtue that I don't seem to possess much of, or it just happened to be pushed to the limit yesterday.

Today we are going to take things one step at a time and not worry too much. At least, that's what I'm aiming for. We'll see how it goes.

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