Monday, November 21, 2011

Happy Birthday Grandpa

Happy Birthday Grandpa,

I miss you. It's been a year and a half, but it seems longer.
We used to celebrate our birthdays together, yours was just one day before mine. I have a photo of us and our cake. I always felt special because our days were so close together.
I know I shouldn't be sad because you're not sick anymore, you won't forget things anymore, because you're home. It doesn't help much though some days.
Whenever I see an owl I think of you. Whenever I hear bagpipes I think of you.
Did you know that you were the only man who ever called me "beautiful" and I believed it when you said that?
Those three simple words, "Hey there, beautiful!" they meant the world to me to hear you say them.
Towards the end, I was afraid you would forget those words. You never did though.

I knew that you wouldn't have long after I talked to you for the last time on the phone. I was looking at that picture of us and said, "I'm going to miss you." I just knew it wouldn't be long. I hate it when I know things like that. I can't help it, I just know when things are going to happen sometimes. 
You died the next morning, Grandpa.

It would have been your birthday today. Nov 21st. It's been a year and a half, and I still have a hard time seeing your chair empty. I wish you could have seen my last CYT show, or heard about my big dreams of dancing. I wish I could hear your voice again. I know it's selfish, if you were here you'd still be sick and hurting. I'm sorry I'm so selfish right now. I was the first grandchild, I had you the longest. That's what missing someone does to you I guess.

I love you Grandpa.

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